How to Bet and Win the Preakness - Anatomy of the Perfect Bet
Look first of all I'd like to be honest with you, I'm not going to claim I "stumbled" upon some "crazy secret system" that nobody knows. In fact, probably more than a few people know what I'm talking about in this article. The truth is that I've been playing the Preakness among many other horse races, for at least 15 years. The Preakness is the first throroughbred race I ever attended, back in the 1990's. I had played at harness tracks, having been introduced to that at a young age, but had never been to a throroughbred track until 1996. That year, my good friend and fellow horseplayer convinced me we should go to Pimlico for a big infield party and some big horse races would break out at some point. I didn't know or care much about anything except the infield party and thought it would be fun. We brought a 12 pack and settled in. Early in the afternoon on the way up, we tuned in to the Baltimore rock station and were hearing all kinds of live music from some of our favorite bands such as Pearl Jam. We were just about pissed off at the fact that we missed some of these bands live, only to show up and find it was just a DJ playing live cuts, and the few local bands on deck hadn't even started playing yet. I was young and after the party was over and horse races had broke out, I was wondering why Louis Quatorze had won the Preakness and we hadn't bet on him. After that I began some more analysis and started using some figures from Brisnet to help me analyze the races. A couple years later I liked Charismatic in the Kentucky Derby, among like 10 other horses, but failed to have the right trifecta boxes since I had little clue what I was doing. I liked him in the Preakness as well, still at good odds since people thought his Derby victory was a fluke, but again failed to have the right trifecta when Badge showed up. But at that point I realized that a pattern was emerging. Eventually I figured this stuff out, although hard-headed about it and unwilling to part from numerical analysis from numbers that I didn't even know how were calculated. I found out it didn't really take a any magic numbers or even much analysis for a basic wagering strategy. With few exceptions, the Preakness is one of the easiest races to bet. Take the top (4-5) horses from the Kentucky Derby that run at Pimlico two weeks later, and undoubtedly 2 of them will finish in the top 4, in fact, usually the top two horses from the Derby will finish 1-2 in the Preakness. It's really that simple. After that you do have to put in some analysis to figure out which "outsiders" will infiltrate the trifecta, or possibly even win the Preakness, along with the Kentucky Derby contingent. There are various tools to use to accomplish this but I normally use one I invented. Unsatisfied with numbers from various other people and organizations with their secret calculations that I did not understand, I decided to make algorithms to create my own numbers and put them into what I call the Grid. Last year, the Grid gave me Preakness winner Shackleford at 13-1 as the top Speed and Power horse. It was an obvious key horse for me and automatic win bet at those kind of odds. Plus, he was a top four Derby finisher. Apparently people forgot he finished 4th not 14th in the Derby, which was very respectable for a frontrunner. Combine him with Derby winner and obvious favorite Animal Kingdom at 2nd, and take Astrology as an improving horse with 4th best Early Pace according to the Grid in 3rd place, and you have a very easy trifecta payout. Add Dialed In, the best Late Pace horse coming off a disappointing but respectable 8th place Derby finish, and you have a very easy superfecta. This is what I call the anatomy of a perfect Preakness exotic bet. You take any of the top 4 Derby finishers that are running at Pimlico, and key them and 1 and 2, get the "outsider" that didn't run in the Derby at good odds, and add another strong contender, usually from the Derby, such as a good late runner for 4th. You would be surprised how many times the Preakness plays out this way. Often the same horse will win the Preakness that won the Derby, which has happened less in the last few years but they still often finish in the money. And in fact the top two in the Derby often run 1-2 at the Preakness. So using the top Derby horses is obvious but where will you find the "outsiders" that will undoubtedly take up a spot or two in the superfecta? Well that is tough to come up with by yourself. Normally you will need more of an advanced handicapping tool for that, which is why I use the Grid. I can tell you that the outsider is almost always at odds from 12-1 to 15-1 so that narrows it down. The year before last the Grid of course gave me the Preakness winner, but only at 2-1 and not much value there, obviously. But also it gave me 11 of 13 winners that day including some nice long shots that provided good exotic payouts. Of course, since I wrote this, it could just happen that the top Derby horses will finish 1-4 in the Preakness, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if that happens. Especially since of my top 6 Derby winning contenders, out of 20, 4 of them finished 1-4 in the Derby. So now you know the basic strategy now for betting the Preakness. You just need to find the right long shot or two to add to your obvious Derby contenders for some nice exotic payouts. If I were you, I'd use the Grid to get them, but that's just because it always comes through for me in these situations.
The first step to formulating a solution, is to define the problem. The following points are areas of betting where many punters often get it wrong. My views arise from long personal experience and years of communication with successful and unsuccessful punters alike. My aim here is to highlight these common areas of failure in the hope that I can speed up your learning curve towards successful betting. Read the following thoughts and you may be able to side step many of the pot holes others have fallen into in the past. 1) Failure to Use Betting Banks Most gamblers fail to understand that the best method of achieving a healthy and sustained long term profit from racing is to set aside a sum of money away from your main finances, solely for the betting of horses. Whatever method or system you are using, whoever you are following or subscribing to or however your own bets are calculated, you are better off with a "Betting Bank" that has built -in advantages that can help you. It needs to be independent from your own personal finances and needs to be protected from factors that can threaten it. This can take a lot of emotion out of the decision making process. Emotion is a factor that threatens all punters. The size of your betting bank will of course be dependent upon your own individual circumstances and free capital available. An analogy to the world of shares perhaps may be that no financial advisor worth his salt would advise you throw all your capital into the stock market alone. The vast majority of punters fail to use any form of set aside bank. They bet randomly with what ever money they have in their pocket at the end of the week or go in too deep with stakes far in excess of their personal safety levels. A punter with a professional attitude will set aside what he can comfortably afford to invest and then determine the best use he can make of that fixed sum of capital. With a fixed sum of capital available you now move on to the next reason for failure. 2) Failure to Stake Correctly It is vital that you consider your betting bank as capped in amount. You do not have an endless pool of resources to dip into. Betting by its nature carries inherent risks. These risks include periods of low strike rates and long losing runs. Your betting bank and staking should be adapted for the method you use. You must in advance, prepare yourself for the possibility of a worse than average sequence of losers through adoption of a sufficient number of units in your betting bank. Correct methodical staking in addition to the mathematical advantage, can also help overcome the risk of emotional reaction to a sequence of unusually positive or negative results. Take the Pricewise column in the racing post as an example. Long term if you could get on at the advised prices, it would have returned a decent profit overall. During this time however followers would have to have endured runs of up to 40 losers in a row! Despite the overall long term profit I suspect the vast majority of Pricewise followers would have been terminated either by a failure to set aside a sufficient amount of points or through failure to cope with the emotion of the losing run. We have long since established here a strike rate of about 35% on our Best Bet selections and at an average S.P. of over 5/2 for each winning bet. We feel able to protect clients banks as long losing runs haven't happened and the strike rate and odds have been more than enough to ensure long steady and safe growth for your betting profits. That is in essence the key to winning money. Manage your accounts in a way that protects them as far as possible from the element of risk that the game presents you. 3) Chasing Losses Chasing losses at first sight may appear to be an easy way to guarantee an eventual profit but the true story is it is a game for fools and statistically will not work unless you generate an overall level stakes profit. Chasing losses is a game for the ill informed who do not want to make the effort to seek value in their bets. Bookmakers have to price up every race. Punters don't have to play in every race, they can pick the races they want to bet in,and that is the main edge that people fail to understand. If you have had a losing day, by attempting to chasing your losses you give up that advantage and bet in the races that you should not be betting in. You are therefore betting the way bookmakers want you to and not in the way to win. Many punters will alter their stakes in the last race either to "chase" losses or "play up" winnings. Its no coincidence that the bookmakers have ensured that the last race on each day is often a handicap or one of the hardest races that day. There will be more racing the next day and the day after that. The secret is waiting for opportunities and only betting when you know you have circumstances which favour you and not the bookmakers. You must never change your approach, or deviate from sensible staking as there is no such things as "The Last Race". 4) Lack of Value Appreciation Appreciation of "value" in a bet is core to long term success. To profit over a long series of bets you must be betting at odds greater than the true chance of winning your selection have. To do this however over the long term, you need to concentrate on each race individually and seek the value bet in that race. There is value to be had in every race. The key to it is understanding where that value is. Many times a punter will screw up a losing betting slip and say "At least I had some value". There is absolutely NO relationship between value and prices. A 33/1 chance may be diabolical value yet a very short priced favorite may be supreme value. It does not follow that the bigger the price you take the better "value" you have. The value is sometimes clear but more often well hidden and it takes a trained eye to see that. Everyone has this "Foresight" on occasions, it is a game about opinions after all and nobody is always right or wrong. Value can be the most expensive word in racing if you can't bet winner. The old cliche is that value is about betting a horse whose true chance is better than its price reflects. That's only a small part of it. You also have to make sure that you bet in the right way and in the right races as that is the only way you can keep strike rates high and protect a betting bank. You should continually strive to increase value in your bets. Once you have a selection you feel is value do not just take the first acceptable price that comes along. Seek to improve it by shopping around the various bookmakers or try and top the best bookmakers price by looking to the betting exchanges. Marginal improvements on odds on each bet you make can have a dramatic effect on long term profits. 5) Greed For Instant Wealth Many punters seek the thrill of a life changing bet that will produce huge gains of instant wealth for a small outlay. Bookmakers play on your natural desire and go out of their way to encourage you to bet exotic multiple selection bets that can in one hit, turn a small stake into a large sum. Professionals however rarely bet in multiples. Most professionals bet singles and steer away from the multiple bets. Bookmakers relentlessly promote a host of multiple bets with exotic names such as Yankee, Lucky 15, and Goliath. The reason they are heavily touted is the profit margin in the bookmaker's favour increases the more selections you add to your multiple bet. Say you select any random 5/1 selection. If you bet this as a single the bookmaker may have a theoretical edge in his favor of 15%. Taking two such selections however and betting them in a win double, the bookmakers profit margin rises to about 30% ! Yes your win double can produce a much bigger win from the same stake however over the long term the bookmaker is eating away at your capital at a much faster rate. It is a waste of time debating which type of multiple bet is 'best'. Unless your prediction skills are supernatural or you are incredibly lucky, then betting in singles is more often the best option. You may say that many "Pros," do bet in multiples in bets like The Scoop 6 or the Jackpot, but that's only because they know there is plenty of "Dead" money in any given Pool and they are betting against people who don't understand the dynamics of those types of bet. There are times you should bet in multiples but in truth they are few and far between. You can't approach this as a "Get Rich Quick " scheme. It is a long slow process of serious and sustained profit and not a game for Get Rich Quick schemers. If you go Into any Betting shop, have a look at all the posters on the wall offering "special offers", "enhanced terms " and "bonus offers". You will see they are all multiple bets. Bookmakers want you betting in multiples and it is easy to see why. They carve most profit from them. You never see a Bookmakers promotion offering extra's on a win or each way single. Ask yourself why. 6) Lack of Discipline Lack of Discipline is the big hurdle for punters trying to turn a losing hobby into a winning one. Bookmakers know that. That's why in every betting office you can bet on numbers, lotteries, ball games, racing from all over the globe with horses nobody has heard of before and even now computer animated, or as they call it, virtual racing. Bookmakers just believe that its a case of punters sitting all day betting on what ever is put in front of them and sadly they are right in many cases. They are simply thrill seeking and don't care what they bet on, as long as they can bet. There is no methodology at all and many betting office regulars are simply a bunch of headless chickens prepared to pay long term for the warming buzz of the occasional win. Even more experienced regular gamblers who are savvy enough to turn down bets that they know are stupid always let themselves down by continually bleeding their profits with a fun tenner here and a fun tenner there. It takes great discipline to NOT bet at times. It takes discipline to walk away from a horse when the price isn't right. It takes discipline to say no to that small fun bet. It takes discipline to keep your money in your pocket and deny yourself the emotional buzz of watching your runner. Punters come in all shapes and sizes. Even the shrewder punters who could win at the game, fall into the trap of lack of discipline of study. After a winning period they forget that what made them winners in the first place, was the effort they put in. They fall victim to over confidence, laziness and indiscipline. Being a long term successful punter is like swimming against the tide. It takes an effort to stay still, even greater effort to move ahead and as soon as you relax or slack off you start to go backwards. 7) Emotion Betting is a lonely game. Its also a highly skilled game. Emotion undermines success in many ways. There is comfort in knowing that as a sheep when you are wrong it is not your fault as you were simply doing what everyone else was doing. With betting, the laws of market supply and demand, dictate that long term, the sheep will get fleeced. Emotion neutralises discipline and long proven successful practices. The result of any isolated race has little or no relation to races just before that or just after that. Races should be viewed in isolation from each other. We are all emotional in betting but the players at the top of the tree have this down to a fine art and can control those emotions. Other punters have long since been conditioned by bookmakers to EXPECT to lose rather than win. They have an in built psychological factor that makes them feel like losers and they have been conditioned to losing by years of doing so. Over 95% of punters are flawed emotionally. Examples of emotive gambling include punters following a horse,trainer or a jockey blind. The "Hype" horses are cannon fodder for emotional punters. They may also follow tipsters blind as they "hate" the thought of missing out on a winner. They pay no attention to the changing conditions of a race that may follow non runners or the ground changing. They misunderstand confidence and can't cope with a lack of confidence. Emotion also prevents people from advanced betting subjects such laying, hedging and arbitrages. Emotion forces some punters to bet horses with certain names that remind them of loved ones. Names such as "Long Tall Sally " and "Susan's Pride " attract many to them just for a name that's relevant to them. Most punters have a grudge against their own money and winning and being successful is alien to them. Emotional punters lose their heads in barren times and fail to capitalise on winning runs. They mess about with systems and staking plans that make no sense. The more emotion you can rule out of your betting, the more successful you will become. You have to view everyone in the game as your enemy and as people trying to take your hard earned money away from you in the same way as you would a pickpocket. Once you can master your emotions you have made the first big step to betting profitably.
Since Remix told me to post my writeups here- below is my article for Oaklawn today. Last week was brutal for us the track was sloppy and my picks were worse. This is 2 weeks in a row, that I have publicly struggled to put the readers on the winners. My selections won 5 out of 9 races, so the capping is there, just a few bobs and weaves away from a great day. Last week I had PARADE FIELD in the 5th who paid $20 to win, but I let the jockey change sway my opinions so much, I was negative. I usually will let a jockey downgrade affect me more than an upgrade, because I feel like we see more bad rides from mediocre jocks than great rides from good ones. Perhaps a fault, but one I can admit. With that said, we have 6 weeks to get green, and only a horse or two away from being there already. Good luck everyone! Last Week ago: 9-1-2-10 11% (4/9 ITM) ($18 wagered, $9 returned net -9.00) $1.00 ROI on $2 Win Bets Oaklawn 2020: 72-14-12-7 19.4% (33/72 ITM) ($144 wagered, $94.20 returned) net -$49.80) $1.30 ROI on $2 Win Bets Enjoy the races and give me a follow-on Twitter u/BDHorseplayer- and follow some great handicappers over at http://thedailygallop.net/ Race 1 4 CANDY CARLOS- This card opens with a short horse as my top pick. Comes back to claiming ranks after in the money finishes in two low level allowance races. Third start from the layoff, after 2 respectable finishes, should be able to get the job done today. Most consistent horse in this field by far. 1 SECRET TOUCH- Gelding did not like the first trip in Arkansas but has steadily improved in the mornings until last week. I would expect this Eurton entry to be sharper than we saw in February, as I question the horses conditioning in that start. Adds blinkers today, which is a very profitable move for this barn. 5 ATTENTIVE- 4-year-old colt has some Remington Park back class, to the point I am very curious. Gets some relief from that last outing and will benefit from it. Might need this start to be ready to fire a win, but worth watching and adding to the stable if this horse improves from that March 1 effort. Race 2 Do we have to bet this race? If not, then I respectfully skip this race. If we cannot then, I stay very narrow and hope for the best. The 2 ML favorites are not worth the price they are at, and do not have 9/5 chance of winning in my opinion. 3 DRAMATIC EXPERIENCE- 3rd career start and adds blinkers today for the Martin barn. De La Cruz is aboard who has not been riding well, but a logical improvement for this horse from the last start could put her in the mix. 8 MILLIE’S AN ANGEL- Also on the 3rd career start and looked to understand things better in the 2nd outing. Stays in the same class level, but at a 9/5 ML I just cannot buy in here. Not for Al Cates with Kelsi Harr aboard. No offense to either, but both have had tough meets, and this filly does not scream bet me. Does get a weight allowance here, so could benefit. Race 3 3 FIFTHATNARRAGANSET- What a name, and I hope Vic has to say it a lot today. Comes down in class ever so slightly but fits on pace figures for this race I believe. Ingrid Mason is having a respectable meet and Thompson is riding at a clip higher than in 2019. Could be a good combination here. After the efforts this winter, class spot here makes a lot of sense- 3rd from the layoff, get the horse into the winner’s circle and some confidence. 8 PUNISH- This Ron Moqueet filly looks to be a solid 4-year-old despite the win loss record. This spot makes a lot of sense, and if she can get out of the gate nice and quick should figure to be involved today. Cannon with a good ride could win, although I would prefer to see a higher percentage jock here. Could end up being a bit too short for a win bet. 7 MANDY- Horse has been all over looking for wins, in mixed company spots, but Peter Miller gets horses to respond, and looking at the running lines here, with some good workouts, I wonder what happened last out to finish 30 lengths back. Was that a paid workout to see how the horse was feeling? Doesn’t make that much sense to me to finish so poorly and then come back 6 days later. 5 TRUE CASTLE- Huge drop-in class, and it concerns me ever so slightly. Tried good allowance company this year and then a great morning workout. Carries 5 extra lbs, which is also a negative here. At the 2-1 ML I cannot recommend, and if this horse beats me, I am ok with it. Race 4 11 EMPTY NESTR- Tries to break maiden in 6th start and could look good here today. Nice step forward last outing despite tiring. With no posted workouts since Feb 19th, conditioning could have been an issue. I expect similar effort from last out, if not slightly better and could bring us 3-1 or so. 1 GUMWRAPPER- Liked this horse two weeks ago and returns here. Faltered last out after a fast-early pace and couldn’t finish strong. Slight weight allowance here, big class relief, if Talamo can control or get an easy lead, maybe horse can finish at a decent price. 13 MAYAN GHOST- As an AE may not run, but looking through the lines here, if the track is fast, this horse could be interesting. Should be right behind the leaders and if they manage to outrun themselves and fall apart as we have seen, could be a benefactor at a good price. Race 5 8 DOC CURLIN- Ships in from Turf Paradise and clearly is in form. No works reported, but there haven’t been any since October when the running lines came back. Diodoro- we know how he operates, and this horse will be ready. Huge price on this horse for this level, connections expect wins. 7 POCKET PERSONALITY- Interesting gelding here coming from the layoff, and I am not quite sure how I feel about him. Fits on speed figures alone if that is what you want to go by, but I am a little afraid that they find traffic trouble or start to make a run and tire at a short price after minimal workouts. 11 VIRGA- A lot of history for this horse, even in December of 19, running well at Woodbine. Has not matched those efforts since coming to Oaklawn, and John Cox winning 1/15 does not help build confidence either. At a 15-1 ML though, I am willing to make a 3rd choice in this field, on the off chance, the horse gets out front, gets bold and Rocco Jr, doesn’t look back. Race 6 3 BLINKERS- Appropriately named horse faced winners for the first time at Churchill last fall and finished a good 3rd to a pretty good field that produced 5 out of 7 winners in the money next out. John Ortiz has been decent this meet, but not fire from the layoff which should lead to some value for us here. Workouts have been regular minus a week or two there. Should be out front and clear of any traffic trouble for Hill to navigate. 9 MOORAC- This filly has been against the pace in last 2 starts facing soft times which does not help a horse from off the pace. BLINKERS AND CHERISHED will keep the pace honest here and should give Martin Garcia something to run at today. Probably 2nd from the layoff for this horse, but at 15-1, why not. I should note I think the drop-in class is interesting, and either the connections are hoping to lose her, or they need a payday. Let’s hope it’s the latter and we can get paid! 2 CHERISHED- Asmussen filly here with a big price tag on her has yet to really produce what connections would like I’m guessing. Looked good in allowance company at Houston and should be running along side BLINKERS early on. If these two can withstand a pace duel and tire each other out, should be there at the finish. Race 7 This race feels like it could be wide open for the company here, keep that in mind as tote action will tell a huge story for this large field of maidens. 10 HUNGRY N SCRAPPY- Nice effort over a muddy surface in debut at the next level up from here. Horse doesn’t have a great mud pedigree so no worries on my end for that today. Should be a fast track, which could suit her well. Brad Cox adds blinkers for this 2nd outing and if can run a touch better than debut, could be breaking maiden today. 1 LADY MCKENZIE- Perhaps this filly figured out how to run over the winter, with a good showing earlier this month for William Fires. Her best speed figure in that performance, but clearly, she was comfortable doing it, as she was near her best from 2019. Fires is not hitting well this meet with only 1 win, so I am hesitant to take this filly on the rail for an ice-cold trainer. If the odds float up perhaps its something to look at. 6 BIG LUCK- So every card there is a price horse I like that I do not make my top big. Here is the one for this week. Unraced as a 2-year-old, has been steadily improving in both of her starts so far. It is not out of the question that this filly can take another advancement to win. Both starts thus far have been slow early, which today should figure to be quicker. If this race is indeed quicker, she could come running late at a price. I will probably include underneath in exotics. Race 8 5 SUNNY DALE- Hollendorfer entry looked good in the fall/winter and won 2 races at Oaklawn, both good company outings. Martin Garcia has been hitting a great clip to start and no reason to think this filly won’t be game today. It’s possible she gets loose and WHOLEHEARTED runs out of ground trying to catch. If the price is right, could be worth a shot, especially if you look at the workout from 4 days ago that was a great little breeze over a muddy surface. 9 WHOLEHEARTED- This horse will be short price, but considering how she ran in February, in what has proven to be a tough field, that has produced 4 out of 5 next out in the money finishes with 2 winners, tells a good story. Diodoro entry with Cohen has been a good combination, and if she takes a similar effort as last out, could win by lengths. 8 A.P. PRINCESS- Something changed with this filly in February as ran career best speed figures by a huge margin. Not sure what Cipriano Contreras found here or were the figures from TURFWAY park inflated that much? She has won on dirt before so will be curious to watch this one today. I don’t plan on betting it, just because there are more questions than answers surrounding her, but worth a quick paragraph to spur discussions. Race 9 A lot of good priced first-time starters here to weed through, and I am going to try and find one that is worth a shot for the price. I expect the 2 DIGITAL STAR to be very short, so let’s have some fun in this finale! 11 BUBBA CABALLO- I just like this name and can’t wait for the call from Vic. Twirling Candy sires about 17% debut winners and was well placed in stakes company. Workouts are not crazy fast, but no surprise for Moquett there. Joe Talamo aboard knows how to ride a debut horse, so worth a shot at this price. Do yourself a favor, watch the paddock and pre-race video, see how this gelding is acting, kidney sweat, head throws take note, and let the tote dictate your risk here. 5 TAPSOLUTION-Hey look a City Zip foal making a debut. Workouts are nice for an Asmussen horse, and City Zip puts out debut winners at 14%. 9-2 ML I wish was a little higher, but with Baze aboard, maybe it sticks around that point. Again, DIGITAL STAR should take huge money leaving some value for us on these debut types today. 1 HANEY BOYS- Is part of the entry with SOUTHSIDE SWIG. I will talk about both briefly since they are coupled. First SOUTHSIDE SWIG needs to take a huge step forward from that debut effort to win today I think, and with a low percentage trainer, I would need a lot more than 5-1 if this was not coupled. HANEY BOYS is a product from a low percentage trainer as well but looked decent in previous 2 outings. Depending how these first timers run, should be the leader at the ½. I think conditioning was an issue for this colt in the race earlier this month and may need another to have stamina ready to go the full 6 Furlongs.
Filme gratuite legate de hiking & escalada de la Banff Mountain Film Festival
Banff Mountain Film Festival Films Online for Free List curated by Lianne Caron RJ Ripper (2018, 20 min) Kids and bikes; wherever you are in the world, they go together. The chaotic streets of Kathmandu may not seem like a typical breeding ground for world-class mountain bikers, but then again nothing is typical about Rajesh (RJ) Magar. Since learning to ride on a beat-up clunker, to becoming the four-time National Champion at age 21, RJ’s story is one of boundless childhood dreaming and unstoppable determination, forged from junkyard scraps and tested on the rugged trails of the mighty Himalaya. https://vimeo.com/275506930 BAWLI BOOCH - Downhill Biking India (2017, 5 min) 4Play is India’s first adventure film company. A fun short film with a catchy song that will make you smile. Downhill Mountain Biking in Manali (India), Himalayan cultural nuances and a catchy Bollywood song that will make your foot tap and keep your eyes glued to the screen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvExzRrB9Fg Speak To Me Softly (2019, 6 min) Experience fear and emotion alongside climber Jenny Abegg as she ascends Moonlight Buttress while fighting the self-criticism and doubt from that little voice we all have in the back of our heads. https://rockandice.com/videos/climbing/speak-to-me-softly/?cn-reloaded=1 Life of Pie | Pizza and Bikes Can Fix Anything (2019, 11 min) In 2002, mountain bikers and entrepreneurs Jen Zeuner and Anne Keller moved to Fruita, Colorado, in search of cheap rent, world-class single track, and free time to ride. Over 15 years later, the two unconventional women have helped reshape one of the state’s most conservative towns, uniting the community through advocacy, inclusivity, and damn good pizza. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7yg2PO07u8 Loved By All: The Story of Apa Sherpa (2018, 14 min) Every spring the summit of Mount Everest drews people from around the world. But in its shadow live the Sherpa, a resilient, religious people, who, despite the riches surrounding the highest peak on earth, are still quite poor and uneducated. A child of the Khumbu, Apa Sherpa climbed Everest 21 times. Pulled away at the age of 12 to work as a high altitude porter, like so many others, he would leave his family for months, risking his life on the mountain. Through his work at the Apa Sherpa Foundation, he aims to create a different future for his people. https://vimeo.com/270499256 Curated by Lianne Caron Shepherdess of The Glaciers (2016, 74 min) A beautiful cultural film that will sweep you away to an exotic far away location. Way up in Ladakh—at 16,500 feet, somewhere in the Gya-Miru Valley—lives a shepherdess with a flock of 250 sheep and pashmina goats on a huge deserted rock-strewn mountain. They are her only companions, except for the troubling presence of wolves and a snow leopard; her only link with the outside world is a little transistor... https://vimeo.com/channels/lesfilmsdeladecouverte/147091400 Artifishal | The Fight to Save Wild Salmon (2019, 80 min) Artifishal is a film about people, rivers, and the fight for the future of wild fish and the environment that supports them. It explores wild salmon’s slide toward extinction, threats posed by fish hatcheries and fish farms, and our continued loss of faith in nature. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdNJ0JAwT7I The Last Honey Hunter (2017, 36 min) In the steep mountain jungles of Nepal’s Hongu river valley, members of the isolated Kulung culture have risked their lives for generations scaling dangerous cliffs to collect wild and toxic honey. Deep and dark, the film glides through a misty world of forest spirits, dreams, and woodsmoke to share the story of the leader of the harvest and his final journey. https://vimeo.com/201695311 The Frozen Road (2018, 25 min) Self-shot and edited whilst cycling around the world, this short film charts my winter journey into the Canadian Arctic as I completed my bike ride up the American continent. Compelled by Jack London’s assertion, that ‘any man who is a man can travel alone’, I sought an adventure of perfect solitude. Yet, as I came to realise, the harsh truths of travelling in such a formidable environment were a long way from the romantic images I’d held of this land. The Frozen Road is an honest reflection on my solo trip; of the wonder, terror and frustration I experienced when riding through the unforgiving emptiness of one of the world's 'last great wildernesses'. https://vimeo.com/252863313 Blood Road (2017, 92 min) Rebecca Rusch’s search for connection. In this award-winning film, Rebecca Rusche cycles 1,930km along the Ho Chi Minh Trail through the jungles of Vietnam. The goal is to reach the site where her father, a US Air Force pilot, was shot down in Laos more than 40 years ago. https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/blood-road Curated by Lianne Caron Billder (2018, 6 min) Bill McLane is a trail builder. What started as a hobby between forest firefighting seasons became a career which has helped shape the mountain bike scene on Vancouver Island. Billder takes a closer look at the craft and dedication behind the trails we sometimes take for granted. It shows that when people pursue their passion, we're all better for it https://vimeo.com/378218839 Up To Speed (2018, 20 min) Some climbers perceive speed climbing as a fringe activity, but its inclusion in the 2020 Olympics means it’s now being taken seriously. Film-maker Zachary Barr takes an in-depth look into the sport. https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/up-to-speed-reel-rock-s05-e01 Okpilik - Inuit Nunangat Taimaannganit (2019, 4 min) Mary Kudlak talks about fishing in Okpilik lake near Ulukhaktok as part of the Inuit Nunangat Taimannganit video project. https://www.itk.ca/inuit-nunangat-taimannganit/video_archive/okpilik/ Dark Peak Fell Runners (2019, 17 min) The Dark Peak Fell Runners base themselves in Sheffield, but their playground is the Peak District National Park where they weave tracks through the fields, peat bogs and rocky outcrops to create a tapestry of eccentricity, endeavour and endurance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwTp28jbTP8 Chasing a Trace (2019, 21 min) This is a love story between a badass woman scientist and one of the most elusive wild animals on earth set in the snowy high mountains of Western Canada. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQN16cJ4mLk Climb Your Dreams (2019, 2 min) The rush of life in the city inspires a dream for an escape. The nature of reality is questioned by the contrast of what we do for a living. https://vimeo.com/362028659 Curated by Lianne Caron Full Moon (2019, 6 min) Closing lifts and the setting sun mark the end of the action for most skiers. But not for Max Kronech and Jochen Mesle. While ski towns fall asleep they head into the mountains to see them in a new light. https://vimeo.com/362028659 Good Morning (2018, 4 min) Every day, skier Richard Permin falls into his mundane morning routine. Right after getting out of bed, he clicks on his skis and rides down the snow covered rooftops of Avoriaz. https://vimeo.com/305915054 The Imaginary Line (2019, 10 min) In an act of political solidarity, a team from Mexico and the U.S.A assemble with the sole purpose of establishing a slackline that crosses the border between them. In a world that is constantly tearing us apart, they come together to cross an imaginary line and tell a different story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkG7koiNiq4 Age of Ondra (2018, 47 min) On the heels of a historic 5.15d ascent, we follow climber Adam Ondra from his home in the Czech Republic, across Europe to North America, as he innovates new training methods, establishes upper echelon first ascents, and attempts to be the first person to send 5.15 on the first try. Part one: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-1-reel-rock-s5-e2 Part two: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-2-reel-rock-s5-e3 Part three: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-3 Thabang (2019, 13 min) Thabang Madiba somehow found his way into the world of trail running and in the last few years has become everyone’s favourite in the South African trail scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0NR4Qqje4A The Redstone Pack (2018, 5 min) What began as an impromptu leap into the world of dog sledding, Aaron Natoniewski’s methodical approach to the sport and understanding of his dogs has inspired a team of sled hounds unlike any other. https://vimeo.com/293860988 Curated by Lianne Caron We Are Abel (2018, 8 min) We Are Abel features the story of a Gwich’in father who is standing against reckless plans to industrialize the Arctic Refuge and not only fight for his culture’s existence, but also for his son’s ability to know that culture fully. https://vimeo.com/341401643 The River’s Call (2019, 8 min) The River’s Call follows seven kayakers through the deep canyons and challenging whitewater of the Rio Apurimac the farthest source of the Amazon in the heart of the Andes. https://vimeo.com/325319778 The Ladakh Project (2019, 13 min) Seven days, three rivers, one woman. This is the story of Nouria Newman’s solo kayak adventure in the Indian Himalaya. https://www.redbull.com/int-en/ladakh-project-nouria-newman-kayaks-india-rivers-interactive-s t ory The Flip (2019, 3 min) French skydiver Remi Angeli must face his fears in order to explore new expressions of movement while BASE jumping in Mexico. On the other side of his fear he discovers life in its purest form. https://vimeo.com/390490875 Kai Jones - Far Out (2018, 6 min) Eleven-year-old Kai Jones isn’t old enough to go to the movies alone or order a sandwich at the pub, but in the mountains age doesn’t matter. He is following in his family’s ski tracks...right into backflips and tricks off of cliffs. https://www.tetongravity.com/video/ski/11-year-old-skis-jackson-holes-gnarliest-terrain Every Mystery I’ve Lived (2019, 24 min) At the end of 2017, rookie slopestyle MTB rider Emil Johansson was on top of the world. In his first full season, he was crowned FMB World Tour champion as a teenager only for his world to crumble around him with a mystery illness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnicW-F52n4 Eclipse (2015, 32 min) Photographer Reuben Krabbe is someone captivated by the solar eclipse, and so in March 2015 he set out to take a photo of a skier during this infrequent occurrence in the northern Curated by Lianne Caron archipelago of Svalbard, Norway. The story of this demanding expedition was documented by Salomon in partnership with Switchback Entertainment and won Best Film: Snow Sports at the Banff Mountain Film Festival. http://tv.salomon.com/story/eclipse#overlay Charge (2019, 5 min) Four top freeskiers and a world champion drone pilot are dropped at Chatter Creek, BC for one week. Their instructions: charge as hard as you can every day. http://tv.salomon.com/story/charge#overlay Liv Along the Way (2018, 23 min) Since she first summited Mont Blanc as a teen, Liv Sansoz knew she would make her life in the mountains. She was twice crowned World Champion in sport climbing, and eventually expanded her professional horizons to mixed climbing, ski mountaineering, and base jumping. In 2017, at 40 years old, Liv set out from her base in Chamonix, France to attempt to climb all 82 4000m peaks in the European Alps in a single year. As she’s learned several times throughout her life, things don’t always go as planned. http://tv.salomon.com/channel/hiking-mountaineering#overlay/livalongtheway Frozen Mind (2018, 33 min) Together with his old friend Pierre Hourticq, snowboarder Victor de le Rue tries to write a new story in the iconic mountains near Chamonix. Frozen Mind is not just a freeride film, it is a story of friendship and a journey of discovery as the two men take unique paths in order to conquer the same objectives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axNnKy-jfWw The 7 Stages of Blank (2019, 42 min) Blank Collective films takes you on a journey through The 7 Stages of Blank, a lighthearted look into the bond that develops around the sport of skiing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSK-f5ES0i4 Circle of the Sun (2019, 5 min) Steep mountains, the ocean, the sun, and the aurora borealis. One rotation of the sun high in the Arctic on skis equals one day of magic. https://vimeo.com/344890300 Curated by Lianne Caron Safe Haven (2018, 8 min) Founded on the belief that everyone is welcome, Memphis Rox opened a climbing gym to be at the center of the city's revitalization. Watch and if you are interested to learn more about Memphis Rox. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYjVzoxIkdI Camel Finds Water (2019, 8 min) Trevor found the hull of an abandoned fishing boat in a field. He brought it home and built it back to a sea-worthy state over the course of a summer. Then, he took it on its maiden voyage to British Columbia in search of waves. https://vimeo.com/328771728 This Land (2019, 10 min) Runner and advocate Faith E. Briggs used to run through the streets of Brooklyn every morning. Now, she’s running 150 miles through three U.S. National Monuments that lay in the thick of the controversy around public lands. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3dxCJK5BaQ&list=RDCMUC4qZJvaF8JKHFJzC_6lXWbg & start_radio=1&t=5 Beneath the Ice (2019, 16 min) Canadian Will Gadd uses his unparalleled ice climbing skills and knowledge to lead a scientific exploration into uncharted territory inside of the Greenland ice sheet. https://www.redbull.com/ca-en/films/beneath-the-ice Aziza (2018, 6 min) Set in the streets of Bou Tharar and the wide, craggy valleys of the lower Atlas mountains, Aziza is the story of a young woman who has thrived in the world of ultra-running and how she has become a role model for other up-and-coming athletes in Morocco. https://vimeo.com/286846186 Standing Man (2019, 13 min) Cyclist Payson McElveen attempts to break the current fastest known time on the grueling 160 km White Rim Road in Canyonlands National Park. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La8-Qqio0rU Curated by Lianne Caron Eli (2019, 5 min) As a rancher growing up in the rugged northeast corner of the Navajo Nation with no electricity or running water, Eli Neztsosie learned through years of work what it meant to rely on discipline and endurance. Now he relies on these same skills, running long distances— striving every day, in his words, to be better than he was the day before. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l16tuTE99vA A Nordic Skater (2018, 5 min) A Nordic Skater is the very first film about this little known sport. It features Per Sollerman, a photographer who has been skating on frozen lakes and fjords for the past 10 years. During 6 captivating minutes, the viewer is transported to the region of Oslo to have a peek at a story of a man who uses every sense he has to travel on thin ice. https://vimeo.com/297673643 Out on a Limb (2019, 21 min) Engineer Kai Lin teams up with climber Craig DeMartino to design a badass prosthetic foot, which if they succeed won’t just level the playing field, but will dish up, if not superpowers, then a real sense of empowerment, which is almost the same thing. https://mojagear.com/videos/2019/08/16/limb-prosthetic-climbing-craig-demartino/ Spirit (2019, 20 min) An intimate story of longing and belonging in India’s sacred mountains. Spirit explores what it takes to make a home in a remote community in the thralls of change. https://vimeo.com/369505425 Solstice (2019, 4 min) A skier’s tribute to the shortest day of the year when the sun arcs low over the horizon and the ice crystals linger in the air. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTPovRc6OoM Narics (2019, 19 min) In the midst of Kosovo, an area that’s been haunted by war and ethical conflicts, Elias Elhardt discovers the small ski resort Brezovica.Snowboard enthusiast Hamdi is one of the locals that now wants to breathe new life into this special place. He guides Elias through this forgotten world and reflects on the question, how a future can be built if the past still weighs so heavily. https://vimeo.com/383514704 Curated by Lianne Caron Valley of the Moon (2018, 21 min) Valley of the Moon explores the importance of climbing as a way to cross cultural barriers, build friendship and chase adventure in one of the most breathtaking regions of the earth. https://vimeo.com/299057800 The Legend of Rafael (2019, 7 min) A beautiful story about the power of two wheels and a community built through bicycling. After a devastating breakup, Rafael finds solitude and restoration on the open road, pedaling his way to emotional health from Mexico City to northern Colorado. With just $500 to his name, he spearheads a revolution to help the underprivileged members of his new neighborhood the best way he knows how—repairing their bicycles. https://vimeo.com/333580941 Over Time - Sammy C (2019, 7 min) Filmed purley in the heart of the BC backcountry, Over Time - Sammy C features the best shots from a full winter with pro skier Sammy Carlson. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVXJ2E41_xE Wallmapu (2018, 6 min) The Pehuenche people of present-day Chile speak Mapudungun: ‘the language of the land.’ This land, their universe, is known as Wallmapu. Two skiers enter, into a breathtaking creation of ancient Araucaria trees, looming volcanoes, and windblown snow. https://vimeo.com/306295979 Chasing the Sublime (2018, 6 min) Why do we put ourselves into the path of discomfort and risk? What drives us to get too cold and too tired, to battle with fear, in the name of adventure? Follow the originators of The Outdoor Swimming Society, ‘swim twins’ Kate Rew and Kari Furre, in this hauntingly beautiful glimpse at the physicality of UK cold water swimming, as two friends set out to chase the sublime. https://vimeo.com/292071219 The Running Pastor (2019, 8 min) Sverri is a local Pastor and avid runner who uses his time on the trails to work through not only his own personal conflicts, but the conflicts of others he often is burdened with. https://vimeo.com/340472874 Curated by Lianne Caron BMX Nigeria (2019, 13 min) BMX street is one of the most frequently evolving sports in the world and, in Nigeria, a group of local riders are reinventing riding at a grassroots level. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDZpsjtfYuY The Shepherdess (2018, 6 min) A brutal drought is gripping the Southwest and the Navajo reservation especially hard, threatening traditional shepherds and a way of life going back generations. https://www.katiefalkenberg.com/#/shepherdess/ Silence (2018, 18 min) What does it take to climb the world’s first 9c? Let’s find out in Silence, a movie by Bernardo Giménez. It shows what preceded the afternoon of September 3, 2017 when Adam Ondra, a professional rock climber and currently one of the best climbers in the world, made a little piece of climbing history when he climbed his project in the spectacular Hanshelleren Cave in Norway. The route, later named Silence, received a new grade of 9c and became the hardest route in the world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRTNHDd0gL8 Ice & Palms (2018, 32 min) The documentary follows skiers Jochen Mesle and Max Kroneck on their most ambitious ski tour yet. A 100% self powered adventure from southern Germany all the way to the mediterranean sea. https://vimeo.com/319200353 Sacred Strides (2018, 12 min) Bears Ears National Monument is a public land under threat. In 2018, a group of Native American tribes put their differences aside and ran 1280 km to Bears Ears to send a message of unity. https://vimeo.com/283490560 Hourya (2018, 10 min) Fly Above the ancient sands of the Moroccan coastline. Let your spirit soar with lightness and the feeling of Hourya. https://vimeo.com/289029793 Curated by Lianne Caron FAST HORSE (2018, 14 min) FAST HORSE follows the return of the Blackfoot bareback horse racing tradition in a new form: the Indian Relay. Siksika horseman Allison Red Crow struggles to build a team with second-hand horses and a new jockey, Cody Big Tobacco, to take on the best riders in the Blackfoot Confederacy at the Calgary Stampede. https://vimeo.com/358170802 The Moment (2017, 74 min) In the backwoods of British Columbia, three small but dedicated crews of adventure seekers were quietly changing the course of a sport and carving their paths in history. The Moment captures the birth and success of the original freeride mountain bike movement. https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/the-moment For the Love of Mary (2018, 6 min) When 97-year-old runner George Etzweiler dons his lucky ancient green running shorts, he’s not just running to the summit of Mt Washington, he carries something special with him: the memory of his late wife of 68 years. https://vimeo.com/273611679 Break on Through (2017, 26 min) Margo Hayes, a little-known 19 year old from Boulder Colorado, has moved to Europe to train and climb with the goal of succeeding on two of the most iconic 5.15s in France and Spain. But by pushing her body and mind to the absolute limit, she risks injury and failure in her quest to be the first. https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/break-on-through-reel-rock-s04-e01 Life of Glide (2017, 16 min) Big Mountain rider Jeremy Jones dissects his lifelong passion for the simple sacred feeling he calls “The Glide.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edYSL913rHI Brothers of Climbing (2017, 7 min) How can you be what you can’t see? Mikhail Martin, co-founder of Brothers of Climbing said, “I literally typed, ‘Are there black climbers?’ in Google ... someone said, ‘black people don’t climb.'” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LWq5s-s4pY Curated by Lianne Caron Ride of the Dead (2017, 12 min) Enter into the world of Oaxacan mountain bike culture during Mexico’s famous annual celebration known as Dia De Los Muertos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLXR86vHUNU Holocene (2018, 12 min) Join two riders from Japan as they dive into the cultural history of the dolomites clattering up Via Ferratas and shredding down couloirs along the way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Yqf9Mn_ZY Beautiful Idiot (2018, 15 min) Beautiful Idiot takes you on a ride through the mindset and motivations of those who feel driven to pursue greatness, how it can feel to fall short, and the consequences of reaching a lofty goal when the struggle to get there has defined you for so long. Featuring professional freeride mountain bike rider Brett Rheeder. https://vimeo.com/282402702 Perspectives | India (2018, 5 min) Professional mountain bike athlete and artist Micayla Gatto adventures to the Indian Himalayas to experience the culture with her unique artistic perception. https://freehubmag.com/videos/perspectives-india Inside the Indus - A Pakistani Odyssey (2017, 27 min) An international team of kayakers heads to Pakistan to attempt a descent of the fabled Rondu Gorge, on the Indus river. Hidden behind a wall of political and security factors meant it had been eight years since the last expedition had ventured into the gorge. https://www.facebook.com/twelveproductions/videos/inside-the-indus-a-pakistani-odyssey/22 4 8154562075004/ Skier Vs Drone (2018, 4 min) 2018 Olympic Bronze Medalist skier racer, Victor Muffat-Jeandet, faces off against 2x World Drone Racing Champion, Jordan Temkin, in a dual GS race to see who is the fastest down the mountain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_Fx2MwCB0 Curated by Lianne Caron The Faction Collective Presents: La Grave (2018, 17 min) Sam Anthamatten and Johnny Collinson travel to La Grave to push the limits of steep skiing and discover what makes La Grave so unique - a mythic freeride location where time stops. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkinG08IoKk Children of the Columbia: A Skier’s Odyssey (2018, 20 min) A cultural ski journey up the historically-charged waters of the Columbia River in interior British Columbia. https://vimeo.com/330851467 The Sky Piercer (2018, 44 min) Snow athletes Sam Smoothy, Xavier De Le Rue, Nadine Wallner and Fraser McDougall take on the challenge of skiing down New Zealand’s highest mountain, the notorious Mount Cook (Aoraki). Will extreme weather and icy conditions defeat them? https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/the-sky-piercer-2019-23-10 The Lorax Project (2018, 35 min) Six friends embark on a determined quest to climb and then BASE jump ‘The Lorax’, a formidable climb in remote western Tasmania. Surrounded by some of the most pristine wilderness in all of Australia, they contend with extreme weather and rugged terrain, relying on each other’s skills and a bit of humour to reach their goal. https://vimeo.com/310331133 Escape (2018, 8 min) JaBig, a Montreal-based DJ, buys a bike on a whim and decides to attempt to beat the record for the longest continuous bike ride in a single country. What’s more, he’ll ride a single-speed, fixed-gear bicycle and finish in the winter, approaching the Arctic Ocean by way of Canada’s northernmost continental hamlet, Tuktoyaktuk in the Northwest Territories. https://www.mec.ca/en/explore/mec-documentary-escape Facing Sunrise (2017, 8 min) While dealing with one of the darkest times of her life, processing family trauma and recovering from injury, Azzah overhears a conversation around the question, “what do you want to do before you die?” Inspired and energized, she rushes home and begins her bucket list. Although she has never seen herself as much of an adventurer, she realizes she’s capable of more than she ever imagined. https://www.mec.ca/en/explore/facing-sunrise Curated by Lianne Caron Ascending Afghanistan *warning graphic content (2016, 44 min) Follow the first female Afghan mountaineering team as they navigate their first expedition and fight for recognition as athletes amongst their country, culture, and families. https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/vice-impact-ascending-afghanistan-rising-women/587674b f f0d3f0d206a3cec6?latest=1 Brotherhood of Skiing (2018, 10 min) Since 1973, the National Brotherhood of Skiers has overcome barriers by bringing soul, smiles and a party to the mountain. https://vimeo.com/318824416 How to Run 100 Miles (2018, 28 min) The odds were stacked against Jayson Sime early in life: poverty, homelessness, dyslexia, bullying. But he learned to fight. In 2017, he entered his first 100-mile mountain ultramarathon, betting on his lifelong resilience to carry him to the finish line. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC7Lh4opLsc Blue Heart (2018, 44 min) The Balkan Peninsula is home to the last wild rivers in Europe. However, a deluge of more than 3,000 proposed hydropower developments threaten to destroy the culture and ecology of this forgotten region. Blue Heart, now in its first digital release, documents the battle for the largest undammed river in Europe, Albania’s Vjosa, the effort to save the endangered Balkan lynx in Macedonia, and the women of Kruščica, Bosnia and Herzegovina, who are spearheading a months-long, 24/7 protest to protect their community’s only source of drinking water. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhmHByZ0Xd8 Carving Landscapes (2018, 6 min) Through the inspiring legacy of Mary Vaux we will venture onto the Illecillewaet Glacier, reenacting her research and her mountain travel in the restriction of Victorian dresses. https://vimeo.com/299359466 The Passage (2018, 25 min) In 1974, my 20-year-old parents and uncle Andy built their own canoes, launched them into the Pacific, and became some of the first people in modern history to canoe from Washington to Alaska up the Inside Passage. My brother and I grew up paddling those wooden canoes in the Virginia rivers and the 1974 adventure became a legend in our family - shaping who we’ve become, how we view our parents, and how our parents view themselves. In the summer of Curated by Lianne Caron 2017, we renovated those canoes and with our aging parents completed their 1974 journey. The Passage is a story about growing up, growing old, and the wild places that define us. https://vimeo.com/272632802 Grizzly Country (2018, 12 min) After serving in the Vietnam War, author and eco-warrior Doug Peacock spent years alone in the Wyoming and Montana wilderness observing grizzly bears. This time in the wild changed the course of his life. With the protection of Yellowstone grizzlies now under threat, Peacock reflects on the importance of habitat and why he continues to fight for wild causes. https://vimeo.com/300829054 The Botanist (2016, 20 min) After the fall of the Soviet Union, Tajikistan, a former Soviet Socialist Republic, plunged into a devastating civil war. A famine struck the mountainous region of the Pamir where Raïmberdi, a passionate and ingenious botanist, built his own hydroelectric station to help his family survive through the crisis. https://vimeo.com/267165412 Surviving the Outback (2018, 57 min) Could you survive alone across hundreds of kilometers of remote outback for a whole month, trekking and sailing on a makeshift raft, with nothing but a time capsule of antique stuff from 1932? Mike wasn’t sure he could pull it off either! https://tubitv.com/movies/497254/surviving_the_outback The Mirnavator (2017, 11 min) Ultra-runners overcome obstacles on every trail. In this film, Force of Nature Mirna Valerio overcomes the negative voices that don’t believe she belongs in the sport. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5-CSQcYeXk Ski Photographer (2018, 9 min) Drawn to the mountains in search of the ski bum lifestyle, Oskar Enander had no intention of ever becoming a photographer. Is his affinity for cold stark places driven by his color blindness? Or is it place that has formed his aesthetic? https://vimeo.com/300544856 Curated by Lianne Caron My Mom Vala (2017, 10 min) Life has a way of putting us where we need to be. For Vala, that’s in both Greenland – where she works at her family’s fishing lodge – and Reykjavík, where she teaches her daughter how to do it all on her own, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERjQ7hcVxus AMO (2017, 7 min) Amo; in the native Rapa Nui Language means, to carry on ones shoulders. Easter Island is a place known the world across in myth and legend, but the people who call it home and the unique culture that they embody is often overlooked as the most valuable piece of the islands estranged story. In this short film, Heu Rapa Haoa, native born Rapa Nui and one of 800 remaining people left in the world who speak his native tongue fluently, tells his story of the island, the stone heads that brought Easter Island renowned, and in what he sees for his future and in that the future of his people the culture that defines them. https://vimeo.com/254442752 Surface (2018, 7 min) In a photographic niche defined by familiar angles, Ben Thouard is driven by his desire to create something original in surf photography. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeONe9teVWw The Frenchy (2018, 14 min) Jacques is an 82-year-old badass athlete, but the real story is how he inspires us with his contagious love of life, epic tales of survival and his ability to counter aging through laughter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhfipv8LXRg Dreamride 3 (2018, 6 min) Inspired by a Dr. Seuss narrative, this mountain bike film is sure to take you places like no other. https://vimeo.com/266377015 Treeline (2018, 40 min) Through a cinematic exploration of three extraordinary tree communities, Treeline brings forests alive on screen, illuminating the reciprocal bond between humanity and nature - a relationship we can’t survive without - and asks what responsibility we have to protect the exceptional forests that remain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCEaYInJbos Curated by Lianne Caron The Wolf Pack (2018, 12 min) The Braford-Lefebrve family lives to run and runs to live. Without cell phones or any modern worry, the wolf pack roams the mountains around Silverton CO. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I83E6jSHBs4 Danny Macaskill: Danny Daycare (2019, 4 min) In his latest film Danny Macaskill takes on some child care the only way he knows how... by taking them for a wee bike ride around Scotland! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj0CmnxuTaQ#action=share Electric Greg (2019, 20 min) Record-breaking mountain endurance athlete Greg Hill has never shied away from a goal. Through his time spent in the mountains, he's seen the effects of climate change first-hand and came to realize the way he was approaching the mountains was only making the problem worse. Two years ago he changed his approach and set out to climb 100 peaks without burning any fossil fuels. But the question is: will it make a difference? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTL5l4CcBdE&feature=youtu.be Defiance (2019, 13 min) The path of progression is paved with acts of defiance. Leanne Pelosi, Jake Blauvelt, and Victor de Le Rue take the stage in British Columbia in a showcase of shred. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUN-2fAgp0A&feature=youtu.be Par For The Course (2019, 4 min) Mirna Valerio takes on her first ever sky race at the 4th annual Broken Arrow Sky Race. Mirna navigated the rocky, exposed ridge lines, steep climbs and snow filled descents of Squaw Valley with an attitude unlike any other. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13kb8geCNNc&feature=youtu.be The Motivator (2018, 4 min) Filmmaker Aaron Hitchins turns his camera on the person who has motivated him to lead a life connected to the outdoors: his mother, Maureen. He wishes he were half as active as she is, and her commitment to rediscovering herself is inspirational. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpLt8ThtOFc&feature=youtu.be
[High College of Arcane Arts] Chapter 1 (Kaetlyn) - Part 4: Welcome to the High College of Arcane Arts
She slept for the first part of the trip. Now that she had finally left home, all the anxiety was gone. All that was left was the cold certainty that there was no going back, and that gave Kaetlyn a strange sort of peace. She did not dream. She was too tired for that. When she woke, the train was traveling over a huge lake, on a bridge made of steel. Grand Canyastle was far from Holmshire and she would need almost the whole day to get there. A little bit before midday, the train entered a village station and stopped there. A metallic voice over the speakers told her this stop would last for thirty minutes and she should probably get down the train and eat lunch somewhere. Kaetlyn got up from her chair and stretched, then looked through her bag. She knew her mother had stored a sandwich somewhere there. When she left the train, she saw that the station stood on elevated tracks, running above a bustling city. Kaetlyn leaned against the railing and looked at the people below her. It was a cosmopolitan city, full of many different people of many different races going from place to place. She had never been anywhere that big before. The skyscrapers rose higher than anything in Holmshire or West Kallaeron, attacking her eyes with bright ads for things she had never thought anyone would need. Below her, people lived their tiny lives. Walked, shopped, worked, created, lived. Above her, people in brooms and flying carpets crisscrossed the sky. One of them rode a pegasus. She thought she saw someone flying on huge bird wings, but they disappeared before she could be sure. She wondered how did it feel like, to do something in life, to have it all planned ahead. The speakers on the station hollered, startling her, and the metallic voice told the passengers they should get back on the train. Kaetlyn tossed her sandwich wrapper in a garbage bin and got back in. The seats were arranged in two groups of two facing each other, around a small table. Many new passengers had boarded at this station, and two out of four seats in Kaetlyn's group were now taken. Kaet took her seat by the window, trying to not disturb the other passengers. Across from her sat an athletic man, wearing a t-shirt and shorts. His skin was red and his hair was orange. Actually, the exact color of his hair was hard to identify, because it flickered and shook, changing from gold to red like a live flame. On her right sat an elvish woman in a delicate white dress with blue flowers embroidered. Her golden hair was styled in an elaborate manner, with braids and side buns, and she had multiple silver rings on her fingers. On her lap sat a pet dragon on a leash, with huge bulging eyes and a lolling tongue. Every now and then they barked at something out the window and tried to escape, but the woman held on tight. Without much else to do, Kaetlyn fished her uncle's gift out of her bag. Trying hard not to ruin the paper, she opened the bigger envelope.There's two in there, her uncle had said. One of them was a gift from him and she couldn't open that one yet. Looking at the two smaller envelopes, it was easy to see which one was from him, the made of yellow paper with lightning bolts drawn all over. She smiled, thinking of what Tezza might have in store for her. Compared to her uncle's envelope, the one she was allowed to open was very bland, plain white paper addressed in a calligraphy she could not recognize. Her curiosity piqued and she opened it, finding a letter inside.
Hello, Kaetlyn the letter said. I don't think we have ever met, but I want you to know that I am proud of you. You have achieved something very few people have and, whatever happens from now on, you should remember that. You are special, you are intelligent and strong, and you are capable. I'm not going to promise you that the road ahead will be an easy one, because we both know it will not. But I want you to remember that you have folks at home who love you unconditionally and always will. Even in the darkest times, we are going to support you and see you through, in one way or another. Tight hugs, Missy Prefield and Jet Carpenter
Feeling her eyes tear up, Kaetlyn folded the letter back and stored it carefully inside the original envelope. Suddenly, the small dragon on the elvish lady's lap began barking hysterically. Kaet lifted her eyes to see the cause of such commotion and almost screamed. Standing on the aisle, looking a little insecure, was a girl. From the waist up she was not very different from a human. From the waist down, eight long pointy legs sprung from her body, and a bulbous abdomen protruded behind her. Kaet realized a heavy silence had filled the wagon, broken only by the dragon's frantic yapping. “Can I sit here?” The girl smiled, trying to ignore the dragon's furious barking. Two small lateral fangs poked out of her mouth. “It's the only available seat.” It might have been the defenseless way she held her hands, or the shaky smile, but something in the girl's posture made Kaetlyn come to her defense. “Yes, please. Sit here with us.” The aracne shuffled into the small seat, trying to not let her abdomen bump into anything. She fiddled with something hidden between the cushions, and the seat groaned as it changed shape, becoming more adequate to someone of her size. Across from her, the dragon kept barking and tried to escape, but the elf woman held him tight with shaky hands. Her eyes were almost as big as eggs. The man with red skin lifted his eyes from his smart-parchment for a second and looked at them before going back to what he was doing. Whatever was going on between the women, it did not interest him. “Hi,” the aracne girl said, to no one in particular. The dragon kept yapping. Her smile weakened, but she powered through the noise. “Quite nice weather were having today.” The red-skinned man did not look up from his parchment. The elvish woman fixed her eyes on her dragon pet and didn't answer. Ten minutes later, the train stopped at the next station and the man with red skin stood up. “If you'll excuse me, ladies, this is my stop.” With a dry curtsy, he left them and got out of the train. The elvish woman stood on her seat as if paralyzed. The doors closed and she got up slowly. “I...I will go down on the next stop. Safe travels to you.” The dragon tried lunging at the aracne girl when the elvish woman came close, but she stopped him. She stood by the door until the train stopped again and then left. Only Kaet and the aracne girl remained around the small table. Without saying anything, the girl rose went to the window, trying to look outside. “Let me just look outside,” she said, a note of anger creeping into her voice. “I bet that hag is getting back in, but in another wagon.” Kaet tried to look though the window too, but the woman was already out of her sight. “Do people do that a lot?” she asked. The aracne girl began running her hands through the remaining window seat, looking for the hidden lever.“You have no idea. I'm so fucking tired of it.” “What's your name?” The girl froze, her hands still between the cushions, and stared at Kaetlyn as if she was from another planet. She had more than two eyes, Kaet realized. Two big ones in the usual places, and an additional six smaller eyes where her eyebrows should have been. All of them were yellow, with slightly vertical pupils. “My name is Min'Hergh'Lob. Most people call me Minnie, or Min. What do people call you?” “My name is Kaetlyn. People usually call me Kaet.” After a small pause, she added.”It's a pleasure meeting you, Minnie. I hope I'm not prying, but where are you from?” Minnie's seat finally sprung to the enlarged configuration, and she lowered her body into it with a sigh.“You're curious. You've never seen anyone like me before, right? No other monsters have disturbed your normal life.” Kaet felt her cheeks reddening. “No, that's not what I meant, not at all! I've seen people like you on television, and read some books, but...” She saw the hard look on Minnie's face and lowered her eyes. “I'm sorry, that didn't sound good.” Minnie's expression softened a little. “It's ok. I might have been to harsh on you. It's not your fault you don't know much about us. There's a small aracne community on the other side of the Kajunn Mountains.” She pointed through the window. The mountains were barely visible in the distance. “That's where I live.” “Gods, that's so far away!” She tried to picture what a village full of people like Minnie would be. Before she could think much, her mind conjured images of a dark place, stone houses with cobwebs hanging between them. She forced a smile. “Must be a cool place, why have I never heard about it?” Minnie shrugged. “People don't like talking about us. They're happier if we just keep to ourselves, so transportation is a little difficult, too. I had to take two trains to get here. This is the third and should finally take me where I'm going.” “And where are you going?” “To the High College of Arcane Arts. I just got accepted.” “What?!” Kaetlyn had expected to run into other students during her trip, but she had not imagined they would not be human. “No way, me too!” “Seriously?” Startled by the revelation, they looked at each other again. “That's such an awesome coincidence. How are you feeling? Are you anxious?” “A little bit. I'm the first one in my family to go to high school. There's a lot of expectations, but I think I'll be fine. What about you?” “I don't really know,” Kaetlyn deflected. “Where are you going to spend the night in Grand Canyastle?” “With a family friend who lives there. He's pretty cool. Here, let me show you a picture.” She got a smart-parchment out of her backpack and began scrolling through the photos. “That's him and my parents,” she pointed. Kaet grabbed the phone and looked. Minnie's parents were easy to recognize, with spider legs and multiple eyes. That meant the man with white skin and red eyes was the friend. They were posing in a balcony, with a small village spread out below. It was very different from anything Kaet had imagined, sunny and with cute small houses painted in bright colors. There were cobwebs everywhere, it was true, but they were carefully spun into bridges and fences. Trying not to show her surprise, Kaetlyn returned the parchment to Minnie. For the few remaining hours of travel, they chatted and got to know each other. Minnie told Kaet a little about how life was on an aracne community. She was the oldest of seven siblings, it turned out, and it had always been her dream to study magic in the High College, so she could provide better for them. Compared to that, Kaet's tales of her humans friends and goblin pizza seemed somewhat boring. The train finally pulled into Grand Canyastle Canal Station and they had to say their goodbyes, but also promised to look for each other the following day. Minnie went down to the subway system and Kaet found her way through the crowd to outside the station, struggling a little because of her bags and heavy suitcase. The motel is just three blocks away, she recalled, and started walking. There were hundreds of people bustling around on the streets, people of all shaped and sizes and colors, people the likes of which she had never seen before, or even knew could exist. Grand Canyastle was bigger than the city she had seen on the train station, and much more hectic. The crowd pushed at her from all sides, making it hard to move. She had never thought people could be so active at night, a city so busy it could never stop. The excessive pink light from omnipresent advertisements hurt her eyes and she almost wished she could be back home. Between the ruthless crowd and her heavy bags, she took almost thirty minutes to walk the three blocks to the motel. It was easy enough to find, nestled between a huge business building and an exotic food place illuminated by bright green characters in an alphabet she didn't recognize. The front desk waved to her when she got in, a boy with blueish skin and wispy hair. The money inside the socks, as expected, and he gave her the keys for her room. It was small and a little cramped, but good enough for one person and one night only. Trying not to think much about what would happen tomorrow, Kaet took a bath and went to bed. Kaet woke up early the following day and walked out of the motel to look for breakfast. Feeling more than a little brave, she decided trying the exotic place next door. The food store was run by a blue-skinned reptilian man, who was more than glad to help her choose between the various fruits and pastries available for breakfast. When she was done eating, Kaetlyn went back to the motel and grabbed her bags. She said goodbye to the front desk and strolled out, looking for the correct carriage stop. The vehicle appeared after a few minutes, drawn by six strong horses, and she hopped in and paid the fare to the driver. Finding a place to put her bags and suitcase inside the crowded vehicle was a bit hard, but she finally did it. The carriage shook as it made it's way through the city. Kaet the map on her smart-parchment every five minutes, always afraid she'd miss her stop and have to walk back some of the way. Despite her anxiety, everything came out well and she got down on the correct place. The road here crossed a park, green grass spread in all directions. An old stone building rose in front of her, reminiscent of both a castle and a tower. “High College of Arcane Arts” was written in golden letters above the door. Below, on smaller letters, “Dean of Student Admission.” I'm here. I'm finally here. People wearing bright purple robes were close to the door, waving at her. Still a little anxious, Kaet approached them, Her suitcase suddenly seemed much heavier and she had to make a great effort to drag it across the park. When she finally got to the building, one of the students in purple robes asked for her name and checked it in a list. After that a strong man made of stone offered to carry her luggage and stowed it safely inside the building. “You're staying at a dorm, right? We'll leave the bags there for you in a few hours.” He checked his wristwatch. “You should go eat while you can. Orientation will be in less than an hour.” “Thank you for the heads-up. And for carrying the bags. I kind of couldn't take it anymore.” The man nodded and wandered off, leaving Kaetlyn to decide what to do next. After eating almost only fruit for breakfast, she came to the conclusion that she had eaten enough healthy food for the day and went for tacos. Finding a restaurant was easy and she soon ordered the only vegetarian option. It did not taste incredibly good, but was far from bad, so she ate without complaining. Wondering how much time she still had until orientation, she checked her smart-parchment. 12:54. Fuck. She rushed out of the restaurant and down the street, hoping she wouldn't get lost. Luckily, the tower of the Dean of Student Admission rose over the trees and roofs, so she followed that. The park around the building was almost empty, but she glimpsed a line of teenagers disappear behind a building and hurried to follow them. Sure enough, they were heading for the amphitheater, because she soon found herself climbing the tiered stairs of a semicircular arena, looking for an empty place to seat. Teenagers of all shapes, sizes and colors were around her. Humans, elves, orcs, fishfolk, octis, goblins, drakes, fairies and many others she did not immediately recognize. People with orange skin, people with four legs, people that shone like stars, people that floated above the ground, people who seemed to be literally on fire. She caught a glimpse of something and turned around to look at it. It was Minnie, sitting inside a circle of empty chairs and waving at her from a few tiers above. With a little more effort, Kaet reached where she was and sat beside her. Minnie gave her a brief hug. “Let me guess, no one wanted to seat beside the spider girl?” “Don't even talk about it, I–” Someone _shush_ed them and the lights dimmed. Kaet looked up, frowning. They were outdoors, how... “Students, welcome!” An elderly woman had climbed into the stage. She was a little too far for Kaetlyn to be able to see her features clearly, but the girl thought she could recognize her from somewhere. “My name is Patricia Banshear and I am the Head of Student Discipline. I have great pleasure in announcing that, from now on, you are all High College of Arcane Arts alumni. In a few minutes I will talk about our available courses, our facilities and our noble history, but before I must list our rules.” A drop of sweat ran down Kaetlyn's brow. The luminosity might have been magically diminished, but she was sitting in direct sunlight. “Rule number one is no alcohol, especially if you are under eighteen years old. Being seen with alcohol will get you expelled. If you and your roommate are both over eighteen, you may drink in your dorm room, but not outside or in the common rooms. Giving alcohol to minors will get you expelled.” A thought began forming in Kaet's head, but she pushed it away. Not now. Now she was listening to the rules. That was important. “That was rule number one. Rule number zero is, obviously, to follow the law. No using magic to hurt others in this campus. We will be especially hard on students who disrespect this rule.” Her hands were cold. Kaet put them under her sleeves. “I'm not supposed to be here,” she whispered to herself. “Those were our most important rules. Pretty simple, right? But you would be surprised at the amount of students that end up in my office for setting someone else's hair on fire.” A vague sensation of uneasiness took over Kaet's body. People set fire to each other's hair? Maybe this place wasn't what she thought it would be... “There are other rules and you will be able to see them in the School Manual, that can be found on the College Library.” “Wait, is that it? That can't be all of it.” She looked at Minnie, but the aracne was listening intently to Patricia's words and did not hear Kaet. “Now, to our courses. As you should know, we offer two types of courses. As High Freshmen, you are enlisted in our full course. Through three years, we will walk you through the basics of Chromatic Magic, two colors of your choosing. Violet Magic is included.” Kaetlyn seized Minnie's hand and held tight, causing the other girl to jump in her seat. “I don't know anything about magic, I shouldn't be here.” A trace of panic had seeped into her voice. Something was wrong in her chest. She felt like she might throw up. “You're going to be fine, girl. Now just breath.” Down at the stage, Patricia went on, undisturbed. “After these three years, you will be tested for your competences. If you are considered good enough, you will be allowed to continued to our four-year College Courses, focusing on more specific techniques and technologies. You will be allowed to choose between a variety of specializations, such as linguistics, engineering, incantation, elementalism, healing, and many others.” “I can't do this.” Kaet's breath was shallow now. Not enough air seemed to get into her lungs. “I'm going to fail, I...” She tried to get up, but Minnie held her down. “You passed on a test. You have already shown you know what's needed, just like me. Now breath. You're having a panic attack.” The world seemed to explode around her. Everything spun. She tried to get up again and her legs buckled. Her hands found Minnie's shirt, and she pulled her closer. Words came out of her mouth, laced with panic, and she was not sure whether she was whispering or screaming. “I'm not like you, Minnie, I don't know anything. I cheated on the test!” Last Post: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/g0r9g3/high_college_of_arcane_arts_chapter_1_kaetlyn/ Next Post: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/g50geb/high_college_of_arcane_arts_chapter_2_minnie_part/ First Post: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/fw8pct/high_college_of_arcane_arts_chapter_1_kaetlyn/
(First) (Previous) (Next) (Patreon) It took most of the rest of the day, but eventually Hakara was recovered enough to consider moving, without having to dash for a someone to dry-retch. Jalmi had left, escorted away by a mixture of guards and her own followers, to the general cheers of the crowd. She took her time, walking through the crowd, shaking hands, talking to them, smiling and happy-looking. Well, there were definitely worse people to be thrust into power, and at least she probably wouldn’t do anything as stupid as demon summoning. Having to leave so soon was a bloody nuisance though, even if she understood the reasoning behind it. At least they hadn’t been here long enough to pick up much extra stuff, save for a few enchanted items and some other loot. With Parth having gone off somewhere, then the settling of accounts would have to wait – there must be some elven ritual or something she had to attend. Did she have queenly duties to attend to? Although from how far apart her regions were, she’d spend virtually all her time travelling, if she actually had to do any work for it. Brina was still far to happy to sleep the entire day away, blearily blinking at Stathis, who flicked her forehead to wake her up. She grumbled at the sunlight, pulling the blankets over her head until Stathis yanked them away. ‘Sun’s up, time to earn your pay!’ She muttered something under her breath but managed to push herself into some level of consciousness. ‘This sucks, but I’m leaving now.’ That managed to penetrate, as Brina opened her eyes fully. ‘Already? It’s still mornin’, what’s the rush?’ ‘It’s actually afternoon. And we’ve been asked to leave – it sucks, but I agree with Dalin, it’s probably better for me not to be here, in case anyone asks awkward questions.’ She kissed Brina on the forehead. ‘Although you get to stay on, if you want to be diplomatic at people.’ Brina grumbled again, slumping forward against her. ‘Gods, shoulda guessed this job would suck, it paid far too well.’ ‘It seems to have gone pretty well, I think. City freed, demons killed, you’re now an ambassador or something, rather than working as a guard. I’m sure there’s quite a lot of nobility that would be glad to have you guarding them, so you’ll probably be welcome. Should be fun for you.’ That seemed to perk her up. ‘Some sweet young thin’, worried about demons in the night? I reckon I could manage night-time guard duty.’ She leant forward, kissing Stathis. ‘Be nice to meet some time when there’s not all kinda shit goin’ down, though. There are some places to eat at up on the cliff, way outta my range, but I reckon you could afford it. All kinds of posh stuff there!’ ‘Maybe next time. Just keep an eye out for shapeshifters or that weird metal stuff. Or any other demons! Dorothia’s probably going to send some other agents, make sure they don’t get carried away. She sometimes forgets that this stuff isn’t just a matter of notes and numbers in her journals, but is actually people’s lives. She’s not a bad person, but gets carried away sometimes. Try and keep things calm here, if you can?’ ‘Is that an order?’ Brina kissed her, moving into a hug. ‘I don’t think so, formally I don’t have any power over you.’ Stathis grinned, hugging Brina back. ‘Just watch out for anyone that’s up to anything shady, and try and let me know. Although I’ve no idea where I’m going, so you might need to send something via Dorothia. She will read it, and quite possibly my Mother as well though, so nothing too personal. Unless you want a personal interview from them both.’ Brina drew back. ‘What? Wait, did you never tell your Mother about Redcastle?’ ‘About the vampires, yes. Considering that we came up right in front of her, fighting them, that was quite hard to avoid. That I spent most of the rest of the time afterwards with you? No, I said a friend was showing me some new things. Which was very much true, but she assumed I meant being shown the town, not anything else. It’s not really any of her business, and there’s some prophecy bollocks stuff that she feels the need to keep track of that apparently involves who I sleep with. So I try to keep that private, as much as I can.’ ‘If it gets me outta that interview, I’m fine with that. Not gonna lie, that sounds terrifyin’. Although you’re gonna have to make it up to me next time we meet.’ She pulled herself closer against Stathis, giving her a long kiss, Stathis taking her time to respond, before they broke apart. ‘I hate doing this, but we really have to leave soon, I don’t think we have time for anything fun.’ ‘Duty of the Iristari, right? Shame. Although I guess I should find Jalmi, see if I can score a fancy suite, now I’m an ambassador.’ She pulled further back. ‘So I guess you’ve got that wizard lady to deal with, with the fancy name and the fancy ‘n tight clothes?’ Stathis sighed. ‘Yeah, Janaxia’s getting to be a handful. Don’t suppose you know any legends about magical demon books that eat magic and make the carrier… well, like Janaxia?’ ‘Well, sexy ‘n evil sorceresses are pretty common, but can’t think of much about their books. That’s more of the creepy, old ‘n beardy sort of thing, the type that holes up in a tower, rather than havin’ a fancy palace and charmin’ folk into being their slaves and whatnot. She doesn’t seem too bad though. Except for bein’ spooky ‘n stuff, but I still wouldn’t say no though. Magic eatin’ books though, that’s rarer. There’s Gaffinador’s Quest, although the book in that was more friendly. Or Obsidaran and the Crystal Bridge. Not a lot of sexy stuff in that, either. And the book was weird ‘n cryptic, rather than anythin’ else. Course, there’s all the elven tales about the black book of destruction or whatever, but that’s from back when they had an empire ‘n stuff. That thing was meant to fly and rain death ‘n darkness over the land though. Can’t you get your sister to look her over? She’s in tight with the gods.’ ‘I don’t really want to get her involved, she tends to get rather intense when there’s anything she things might be demonic around. Plus those two tend to distract each other.’ ‘What? She and Carissia are, like, friendly? Friendly-friendly? Huh, didn’t expect that. Although if Janaxia is demonic or somethin’, then wouldn’t Carissia notice?’ ‘She’s not normally checking things like when she’s around. And, well… I have more of a sense for these things than she does. And given how often she changes gods, I suspect her senses may vary a lot depending on who she’s sworn to at any given time.’ ‘Ah, part of your’ she mimicked wings with her hands ‘thing? So you’re pretty sure there’s somethin’ up with her? Hey, maybe she used to be all ugly and made a pact to get all pretty? There’s some stories about that kinda thing around, and her family probably have all sorts of old stuff hidden away she coulda picked up. If she used up some ancient family thing, explain why she’s on the outs without them.’ ‘Could be. That would explain a lot, actually. Although she’s been through an area without magic, and didn’t change forms or anything, so it’s a permanent change if that’s true. If you get the chance, ask around about her. Seems her family are up to something, so bundle it into that. If you find anything out, let me know, but try to keep her out of it. I don’t want to get involved in anything stupid when Iristari bounty hunters come after Janaxia and I have to fight a load of people I know or trained with!’ ‘Will do. Although would you get hunters sent after you?’ ‘Me personally? No. But spies and stuff tend to get things mixed up or confused, and then there’s assassins not sure who to target, and the entire thing gets outsourced to the lowest bidder who don’t really care who dies as long as someone does, and it’s all just something I’d rather not have to deal with. So if anyone officially asks about Janaxia, then just tell them I’m handling it, and keep it vague. They’ll probably assume it’s some deep cover, double-agent mess or something, but it’ll keep them off my back. And I’m sure I can think of something nice for you next time we meet up.’ Brina smiled. ‘Howsabout we meet up without anyone tryin’ to kill us, for once? Or tryin’ to kill you, at least, and draggin’ little old me along with it all.’ ‘I’ll do my best, but I make no promises! But a meal or something would be good.’ There was a shouting from outside. ‘Dammit, I need to go see what that is. Have you got all your clothing? Might be awkward heading back dressed in something taken from here. Brina got out of bed, finding her clothing from the floor. ‘Sure, go look after your big, important adventuring party. Just don’t forget me!’ They kissed again, Stathis heading outside. Janaxia and Semari were squabbling, as Janaxia tried ordering Semari to load gear onto a horse. Janaxia shoved a bag at Semari, who pushed it back with significantly more force. As Stathis moved to intervene, the bag broke at the seams, contents falling to the ground, as a variety of clothing exploded outwards. From the amount of lace, silk and leather, it had been taken from the dressing room, along with quite a few other items, an assortment of straps and buckles glinting in the sunlight. Janaxia’s face reddened, as she started putting them all back, trying to wrap them up as quickly as possible, stuffing them back into the bag, squashing the fabrics together, pushing a riding crop into one corner. ‘Can you two not fight? Also, is that stuff you’ve taken from here - do you need it? Don’t you magic up all your clothing anyway?’ Janaxia seemed flustered, hair-lash almost pink as she picked up a chunky leather choker and pushed it into the bag. ‘It may be useful to have a variety of clothing on hand, should occasion arise to make use of it. And it was only going to waste here, and I did play no small part in rescuing this city from demons. Considering the rather indecent haste with which we are being evicted, and unfairly so at that, it really does seem the least of prices.’ ‘What kind of occasion are you thinking of? Most of the clothes looked pretty skimpy. I’m not even going to ask about the other stuff! And you normally go for the refined and elegant look, anyway. Seems a bit of a change for you.’ Janaxia seemed to take that as praise, preening slightly. ‘Thank you for noticing, I do try and retain a certain amount of style, regardless of circumstances. But I may wish to experiment with a few new styles going forward. I suspect this little revolution may encourage a drift away from the more conservative and aristocratic styles, and I wouldn’t, of course, wish to behind the mode. Give me that!’ A magical force reached towards Semari, who had picked up a bottle of oil from the floor and was currently sniffing it. ‘And if you would care for another massage, I found some items that might make it more pleasurable.’ Stathis felt herself redden. ‘That does sound nice, but how about we at least get moving first? We’ve got a lot of road to cover.’ ‘If Semari had simply helped load everything as I wished, this wouldn’t be an issue! Anyway, do you not need to see farewell to your friend?’ Looks like Janaxia still had some issues with Brina. ‘Already done. Would have been nice to spend a while longer and properly catch up, but it looks like we’ve got to go. I think you would have liked her as well, you’ve got a lot in common.’ Janaxia sniffed. ‘I highly doubt that. Although without her around, perhaps you will be less distracted? You really should focus on your leadership, Stathis, rather than wasting time on such trivial dalliances.’ ‘You could maybe have mentioned that you started a revolution! Gods, just load up and let’s go. You as well, Semari. Keep an eye on Hakara, she’s still a little green-looking. Try not to let her drink quite as much in future.’ Semari shrugged. ‘She needs to learn to say “no” sooner! But mixing in shots was probably a bad idea, for her at least. Don’t you need to get healed though, from that screaming-ghost-lady?’ ‘That’s been dealt with, I’m all better now.’ ‘Nice! Now you can, like, get messed up by some other monsters. Fun times!’ ‘I really hope not. Now, can we get a move on? I’d like to at least make it to the next village by sundown.’ ‘Sure, sure!’ Semari waved a hand negligently. ‘Bet I could race there before you.’ There was a magical haze as Janaxia repaired the bag, although stray wisps of silk, leather and lace were poking out, along with several suspicious-looking bulges. With more effort than seemed necessary, and a lot of overt sighs and mutterings, she managed to secure it onto her horse. Brina appeared at one of the windows, waving goodbye as they finally began making their way out of the city, Janaxia glaring at her as Semari led Hakara’s horse, Hakara herself still drifting in and out of consciousness. The guardposts were now entirely empty, no-one stopping them as they rode through, although there were still signs of recent violence. No strung-up bodies though, which was probably a good sign. As they rode past the city walls, Stathis nudged her horse over to Semari. ‘So, any idea where Parth went? She doesn’t talk much, but it seems odd for her just to head off without saying anything.’ ‘Dunno. Think it’s, like, elf business. Probably got a stone circle that needs to be sung to. Or a tree’s feeling sad, something like that. Might be that Janaxia’s being a bit too spooky, maybe? That thing where she went all super-evil and sexy was, like, totally creepy.’ ‘I’ve asked Brina to look into it, see if there’s any old legends or stories about something like her book. I think she’s better now though. And if she wanted to do something evil, then she had ample opportunity, she could have joined up with the demons or helped them. Plus she healed my wounds, by draining the evil out of them.’ Semari made slurping, moaning sounds. ‘That what you call it? Wondered what you two were up to in there.’ ‘It wasn’t anything like that! She just gave me a massage, but her touch drained away the evil infection or curse or whatever it was. Although it felt really good, she’s actually quite skilled at it. You should give it a go sometime.’ ‘Sounds a bit creepy to me, all that touching and prodding. Sure she didn’t do anything else? Like, spooky mind-magic or anything?’ ‘I think I’d notice if she summoned up a flaming crown, that’s pretty hard to hide. No, just a normal massage. Except for curing my wounds, at least. But could you ask around, see if anyone knows anything about that weird metal, or demons, anything like that? See if Kethys knows anything, if you can get in touch with her.’ ‘Sure, might take a while though. Reckon there might be more of them?’ ‘Well, there was that one we met down in that weird underground city, that was something to do with Carissia. So I’ll ask her if she knows anything, as I forgot to the last time we met. But I’ve not heard about anything else similar. It might be best for us to lay low for a while. We can probably get some gigs out in the borderlands, if you’re up for it?’ ‘Hey, as long as we, like get paid, I’m good. Gotta get that gold, right? Lots of beasties out there to fight, should be fun.’ ‘Pretty much. What do you even need money for though? You don’t need weapons, when was the last time you even bothered with armour, or weapons? Other than food and drink, what do you spend it on?’ ‘I dodge better without heavy stuff. I’ve been giving it to Parth, she’s, like, got plans for it.’ ‘Really? What’s she going to do with it, buy a load of plants?’ ‘She’s got plans. Big plans. Don’t worry, you’ll find out. Eventually.’ Semari ran ahead, apparently bored with the conversation after dropping that bizarrely ominous comment. Stathis dropped back to check on Hakara. Hakara still looked grim and grey, but was at least awake now, although she looked to be in pain. She gave a wan smile, pulling herself up a bit straighter. ‘You feeling OK? You drank rather a lot yesterday.’ ‘Better, thank you. Some of the drinks provided were rather strong. And very exotic – they even had Maidensblood, from Setha in the Ash.’ Some distaste must have shown on Stathis’ face, as Hakara clarified. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not really blood, just very thick, sticky and red. It’s fantastically expensive though, certainly not something I ever expected to be able to try myself! Although it doesn’t mix well with beer. Not well at all.’ She grimaced. ‘Glad you’re doing well, anyway. Looks like we’ll be heading to the borderlands, get some work over there. Be taking us quite a way away from the main cities, if you’re OK with that? Don’t know what we’ll find, but hopefully less demon cults and the like!’ ‘Yes, I much prefer empty ruins, rather than all that mess. And cities are always filled with the worst kind of people.’ She scowled bitterly – clearly, some unpleasant past experiences there. ‘Well, not everyone in cities is bad. Although, yeah, we do seem to meet a lot of criminals. But Jalmi wasn’t too bad, was she? Or Brina?’ ‘I suppose. Although the whole thing did seem very rushed.’ She coughed, then lowered her voice, making her sound croaky and sick. ‘Were you able to discover anything more of Miss Janaxia?’ ‘Not much, no. But if you could keep an eye on her, let me know if you work anything out. Just don’t let her find out, she’ll get pissy about it. See if you can work out what her magic is, and hopefully that she’s not going to turn into a demon or something.’ Hakara immediately looked worried. ‘Don’t worry, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Worst case scenario, Semari can punch her out and we’ll tie her up and get her dunked into holy water or something. But keep an eye out, if you could.’ ‘I’ll try. But maybe not today.’ Stathis patted her on the back. ‘Don’t worry, I think she’s in a good mood today, so just rest. We’re not in any hurry. And Parth needs to catch up with us as well. You know of any elven rituals that might be going on right now, are the stars in alignment for something?’ ‘I don’t know. Sorry.’ ‘That’s fine. Let me know if you discover anything.’ Stathis left Hakara, returning to the front of the path, where Janaxia was riding. ‘You OK with a trip to the borderlands? Might not be quite as fancy as what you’d like.’ Janaxia didn’t look at her, keeping her eyes straight ahead. ‘On occasion, a certain amount of roughness can be invigorating. Although I do hope that you try to keep us out of any such disorganised incidents in future, they are most upsetting. But I’m sure the borderlands will have sufficient work to keep us occupied. And even petty nobility are normally appreciative of true elegance and class. It gives them something to aspire to, I feel. It would help if you were to make more of an effort, of course. I’m sure something can be found to fit with your more martial themes.’ ‘Nothing from the brothel, I hope!’ From the look Janaxia was now giving her, options were being assessed. ‘You really could do batter then some battered armour. At least something rather more flattering about the waist, and a little brighter, maybe. And surely you could pay more attention to your hair?’ Stathis settled back, letting the chatter wash over her. With her wounds healed, and the benefit of at least one decent night’s sleep, it was actually quite a nice day, although it was a shame to have had to have left Brina behind so quickly. Still, hopefully Brina would be able to get some information dug out. And Carissia might know something as well. As long as they didn’t get attacked by more of those monsters! Or if Janaxia didn’t turn into a demon herself.
List of 100 interesting activities PCs can participate in/interact with at a local fair. (Sorry if this has been done before, but couldn't find a duplicate after looking).
Axe or similar projectile throwing contest
Tug of war
Buy or sell illegal goods (drugs, banned religious symbols, etc)
Pick pocketing challenges ie. everyone attending the fair is given a bright piece of cloth to be put in their belt/pocket and if you keep hold of yours you win a prize at the end of the day. But if you are able to pick pocket other peoples as well then you could win a grandprize, every day the top pick pockets are announced so that people can be on the look out or you could steal their cloth, removing them from the possible winners.
Fencing with wooden swords, 3 hits and you're out
Lockpicking competition with a blindfold on
Rope climbing competition
Log on water balancing
Perform off between either individual performers or 'bands'
Every year a particularly skilled Minotaur makes a hedgemage. She is a gardner and spends the season making labyrinths for the townsfolks festival. There is a plate of cookies in the center, and her calf (young son) is patrolling inside to help people who become lost. The Minotaur charges 1 copper for entry, and donates the money to charity. [greatGoD67]
A divination stand with an old lady with a crystal ball... Or she reads the lines in your hands... Either way it's up to the DM (or maybe a dc of 18 or whatever) whether it's true divination. [Gerbie3000]
Puppet show using Minor Illusion and Mage Hand [ElZoof]
A booth selling Potions of Thirst Quenching (water) [ElZoof]
A bored-looking devil sitting at a booth with a sign saying "Anything you want: $Your Soul". Be very careful here, as what he offers starts out seeming great, but eventually is just terrible. [ElZoof]
A "Fungeon" full of "Funsters" and "Treasure". Look out for the "Traps" and the pickpockets. [ElZoof]
A stall that sells mildly enchanted jewelry that can change colors at will. [Gemini720]
A lavender-skinned tiefling does palm readings while their (Make both parties male or female, whichever you choose) dwarven friend polishes weapons and armor for people who are having their palms read. [Gemini720]
A nearby tent displays various works of art. The artists are there for questions about their pieces. [Gemini720]
A team of 3-5 people are allowed to compete in an eating contest against a local hill giant. The hill giant rolls 2d100. Each player rolls 1d20+Con. Whichever team's total is higher wins the contest. The party becomes fatigued for 24 hours if they compete. [greatGoD67]
There is a slap a guard booth. Once a year, the citizens can pay 50 gp to slap a guard that they don't like. The players can choose any guard they've met. There is a small ledger where the citizens can write their names and become a guard. The guards are instructed to say "If you think you're better than me, then you can prove it by signing the ledger" [greatGoD67]
A mead maker's competition. They're short a couple of judges, and will offer the job to anyone who looks to have a strong constitution. [R2gro2]
A simple cloth is laid out in front of a famous local hermit. He magically mends objects and performs low level spells at a deep discount. He uses the money to buy supplies so he can avoid town the rest of the year. [R2gro2]
A booth is staffed by students from a local magic academy. They take requests for magic assistance but can't really do anything themselves. An appropriate level mage will visit each customer within a few days. The students get a cut of the revenue towards their tuition, so they can be very pushy. [R2gro2]
A chess-playing chicken. 5 silvers to play, beat the chicken and double your money. [R2gro2]
Costume contest, half of the attendees are dressed as the local nobility/governance [ProllyNotCptAmerica]
A male half-orc conjurer, a female tiefling monster hunter, and a female elf beast trainer are all locals in the town. Each year they meet for drinks at the fair, before competing in their own special game: Ooze Cruise. Each participant is required to bring an ooze to the event. 3 premade stone towers are erected at the outskirts of the fair. The participants climb some scaffolding to place their ooze at the top. The first ooze to eat their way to the bottom of the tower wins. Over the past few years, this selfmade competition has attracted the attention of the townsfolk who enjoy betting on the competition. [greatGoD67]\
A small number of goblins can occasionally be seen sneaking around the fair, sometimes they will be spotted ohing and ahing at some of the attractions, if questioned they flee if found again later and questioned they are doing research for their own Carnival [Lord_Northwind]
There are temporary shrines from many different gods and goddesses (as many as the DM knows offhand). They can be prayed to for small blessings [greatGoD67]
A group of local Treents is handing out apples and is giving advice in their deep voices such as "make sure you plant the seeds" and "dont play with fire" [greatGoD67]
A group of Yuan-Ti have set up an exotic (lightly cursed) amulet shop. [greatGoD67]
Some sprites and pixies are letting people fly in exchange for hunting equipment. They have a large furnace with a baby firenewt inside where they dispose of the hunting gear. [greatGoD67]
The town guard is hosting a make-your-own banner booth. An enchanter can be hired to enchant the banner. [greatGoD67]
There is a costume booth where a master tailor, doppleganger, illusionist, and thief work together to give anyone a makeover, haircut, or costume of their choosing. [greatGoD67]
Exotic pet rock dealer. (1 in D8 rocks is an elemental pet!) [5ManaAndADream]
Cunning Linguists; replace a language at random (pick a random; non-common, language the player knows replace it randomly from a list as large as you want, if they crit, they keep their original language, if they crit fail, they lose their original language, and gain nothing) [5ManaAndADream]
Feat for Curse? (Your player can buy an extra feat, but they are stricken with a curse. Can be a strong curse or as simple as a new character flaw.) [5ManaAndADream]
Greased Pole Climbing contest - there's a tree trunk liberally coated in grease and the first person to reach the top is the winner. Everyone tries to climb at the same time. [kandoras]
The thieves guild is smuggling cheap ale off the back of a wagon and will pay the party to help them carry the items before the guard comes back with a warrant. [greatGoD67]
The mayor is letting the winner of the childrens footrace hit them with a custard pie [greatGoD67]
There is a kenku hermit from the neighboring hills who has a large wagon filled with nuts and berries. They are selling a handfull for 1 copper each [greatGoD67]
There is a wizard who is running a -make your own potion- stall. The wizard will help players make any potion they want at half price. [greatGoD67]
There is a beefy half orc chef selling 2gp firewater, an ale that gives +1 strength for 1d8 hours to anyone with a con modifier of +3 or higher. [greatGoD67]
The town guard is giving free fighting lessons for ablebodied citizens. There is a list where the festival goers write their contact information for the towns militia [greatGoD67]
A gnome trinket master is making clockwork trinkets for the townsfolk. [greatGoD67]
Test your might booth; Challengers are tasked to lift an impossibly heavy rock for 1G, if you can the prize is 50g (or however much u want to aware them). (there is no rock, its an illusion with high Will save DC, the rock cannot be lifted by any means, until the illusion is dispelled, then it becomes a pebble.) IT'll be fun to see players crushed when they nat 20 a strength check, and you go "and yet the rock doesn't so much as budge". As soon as they become aware of the illusion; ie detect magic, you can make them roll the will save, or you can do it the moment they try to lift it. [5ManaAndADream]
Liars contest: spin the wildest tale you can think of and the crowd votes on the best one based on belivability,complexity and incredibility. [greatGoD67]
There is a booth where town officals can be found. The booth is a guard station, water station, first aid station, lost and found, (one random item from the party can be found here) and fair management station. There is a donation jar. The officals have a few errands they ask of the party such as collecting late dues from some of the fairground shopkeepers. [greatGoD67]
Thanks everyone for the amazing contributions, I tried to keep the list to 100 activities/events so some people's entries have been left out or combined with others, I have tried to credit everyone but I'm sure I've left some people out. Sorry if I had to cut your idea.
LAST UPDATED: 05/05/2020 ~ Achievements: super sperm
Keep your health up by going to the gym, meditating, taking walks, and going to the doctor when you're sick.
The fastest way to become wealthy is to become a famous actor or famous writer. I also recommend living in countries that don't have estate tax such as Germany, Sweden, Switzerland (thanks u/Guillermo-Jubera) , Monaco, & Norway. Start off with high looks for actor or high smarts for writer. Join social media & post every year. When you become famous, do a commercial every year. While there are other high paying jobs such as porn star, model, and music composer, I do not recommend these because you won't be able to make much extra money on the side. For porn star and model, you can do photo shoots, but they don't pay nearly as much as commercials do.
Become wealthy using the advice for wealthy achievements. For flipping houses, buy equestrian properties & keep renovating them when necessary. If you buy an equestrian property in your 20s, by the time you're in your 70s-80s, the net worth of the property will increase by a few millions.
Become famous and post every year. When your fame bar is at 75%, request verification.
Animal rescue: take an animal to a shelter.
Deaf leopard: buy a leopard from the exotic pet dealer & yell at it when it misbehaves.
Gorilla: buy a gorilla & mistreat it.
Hippo: try to pet the hippo. You'll die from it.
Lion: increase your chances by going on a walk each year. Set pace to speed walking & set time to 2 hours to cover max distance.
Jack of all trades: have 10 different jobs in one life. Apply for jobs that don't require a degree and stay for a few years (I stayed for 2 years).
Candy-writer: be born in MIAMI (NOT Tuscon) with high smarts. Major in computer science and get a job as an app tester with BITLIFE. DO NOT GET A JOB WITH CANDY-WRITER. THE COMPANY SHOULD SAY BITLIFE.
Last resort: have high looks. Use god mode to edit your boss to have 0% professionalism, 0% strictness, 0% willpower, and 100% coolness.
While you have good performance at work, seduce your boss.
If done successfully, lower your performance percentage bar by insulting and pulling pranks on coworkers.
When a pop up shows up saying you've been fired, beg your boss for another chance, & try to seduce them again.
People person: if you have trouble befriending your coworkers, use god mode to set their craziness to 0%, coolness to 100%, willpower to 0%, and low professionalism.
Medieval weapon: insult people until someone attacks you with a medieval weapon.
Armed & Dangerous: Tiger Claw Strike (Kung-Fu) seems to be the most deadly. Aim at the person's skull. Edit: throat also works too.
Bubonic plague: random.
Rabies: pet stray animals that you come across. One will eventually bite you & give you rabies.
Witchcraft: avoid taking raw egg, venom, & green bubbling liquid as these are the deadliest things you can consume.
Addicted: accept all substances offered to you. Go clubbing (with high looks & low smarts) to get more access to substances.
Sickly: Get sick with 10 diseases in 1 life.
Do this by going clubbing as soon as you turn 18. Accept substances that are offered to you & hook up with random people.
Try to get as many STDs as you can including but not limited to: chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, and genital herpes.
Go to the gym every year to get other illnesses such as: ringworm, staph infection, athletes foot, etc.
Note: you can also get HIV and Hep B from hook ups, but make sure to keep your health up so that you don't die from complications.
BitBoi: watch YouTube with friends until Bijuu Mike pops up.
BTS ARMY: go to a concert with a friend every year until BTS shows up.
Brightest Star: get max fame by having high looks, posting on social media, & doing commercials or photo shoots.
Centerfold: do photo shoots every year until you do one for Wank magazine.
Endorser: become a famous actor & do a commercial. These typically pay about $4,000,000
K-Pop: be born in South Korea. Have high looks, & get a job as a background singer. Work hard every year & get promoted to lead singer. Post on social media. You'll eventually become a famous pop star.
DNA donor: have high looks &/or high smarts to be allowed to donate your sperm.
Fertile myrtle: be born a female. Get pregnant as soon as you turn 18 by artificial insemination or unprotected sex. Do this every year until you have 25 children.
Smart seed:select the artificial insemination option every year until a lawyer pops up. Be a female, graduate high school, and have a decent amount of money ($45k). Check the artificial insemination option. If a lawyer doesn't show up, close out of the app and restart it until a lawyer (not judge or paralegal) pops up.
Triplets: increase your chances by using artificial insemination.
Fake it: use god mode to lower your fiance's smarts to 0%, then propose.
Bejeweled: marry someone rich or use god mode to adjust your SO's money bar. Keep your relationship bar full.
Black widow: use a dating app to marry men 80+.
Optional: use god mode to set their health to 0%.
Diamond Anniversary: marry young & keep your health bar up. Use god mode to set your SO's health to 100% so they won't die quickly.
Family planner: set your SO's smarts & willpower to 0% & convince them to go off birth control.
Wedding planner: be born in an African country such as DR Congo. Wait until your parents arrange a marriage for you & accept. Gender doesn't matter.
Career military: serve a full career in the military. Avoid deployments by closing the app & restarting.
General: enlist as an air force, army, or marines officer. Work hard every year until you become general.
Admiral: enlist as a navy or coast guard officer. Work hard every year until you get promoted to admiral.
AWOL: get addicted to alcohol by going clubbing. Once you get addicted, go to rehab.
Excavator: to clear 10 minefields, it's best to practice minesweeper until you're good at it. Edit: this DOES NOT need to be done in one life. You can do this over multiple lives.
Escape from prison: get arrested for a petty crime & get sent to minimum or medium security prison. Use this guide to escape.
Justice: be wealthy & apply for an appeal.
Aftermath: riot every year. Each year, the number of prisoners you need increases by 5. The max is 25. Once you hit 25, keep rioting every year until you can escape.
Rioting will lower your health. Keep your health bar green by bribing the guards, going to the infirmary,working out, & meditating.
You can only escape when your health is green.
In-mating: get arrested in a minimum or medium security prison. Arrange a conjugal visit. Make sure your spouse has a high crazy level.
Mercy Me: follow the steps in the wealth achievement section. Get arrested with a long sentence. Be on good behavior by meditating every year, ignoring prisoners, & being respectful to the warden. Appeal your sentence. Note: while in prison, DO NOT join gangs, incite riots, or bribe guards.
Theseus: the easiest way to escape is by following the instructions to the aftermath achievement. Otherwise, you can check out this guide.
Naughty child: easiest way to get expelled is to enroll in college & get bad grades by not studying & skipping class.
Brothers Forever: join a frat in college by having high looks. When you graduate & look for a job, you'll be hired by a frat brother.
Earning that A: seduce your teacher by having high looks. Use god mode to change the teacher's professionalism & willpower to 0%.
Swimming Star: have high health & join the swim team in high school or college. Practice hard every year to become captain.
Get rich using the steps in the wealth section above. Obtain your pilot & boating license to complete these achievements.
Antiqued: buy a car. Get maintenance done every year. Do repairs when needed.
Cliff diving: spend time with family & friends every year until you go cliff diving.
Hero: save someone from choking.
Skeezy: insult people until someone calls you skeezy.
Snake snack: go to the witch doctor every year until she offers a snake.
Emigrate to Canada/Visit Winnipeg: check the emigrate/vacation list every year until they show up.
Zap: this one is random.
All Along: change a parent's sexuality to gay using god mode & hope they come out.
Begone: become an exorcist & buy a haunted house. Age up one year & exorcise the ghost(s).
Dignified Donor: find a $1m heirloom (random) & donate it.
Flamin' hot: sign up for the hot Cheetos diet. Keep your health up by going to the gym, meditating, & walking every year.
Flee the country: escape from a minimum or medium security prison using this & emigrate.
Frankenstein: go to a low-rated plastic surgeon and get a botched penis enlargement surgery or breast augmentation.
Note: DO NOT GO FOR A BRAZILIAN BUTT LIFT. A BOTCHED ONE CAN KILL YOU!
Human Dictionary: select the book option under mind & body until Merriam Webster Dictionary shows up, then read it.
Low-roller: lose money at the casino until you have a negative bank balance. Run from the guards. You may serve time in prison or successfully evade the guards. Try returning to the casino. You will be denied.
Nightmare: be wealthy by following the steps in the wealth section. Buy an airplane, jet, or helicopter and fly every year. Eventually a bad situation will come up and you need to pick an option. Sometimes it will turn out that the situation was just nightmare. Credit to this post by u/katpotatoees. Edit: MAKE SURE TO BY A USED PLANE IN BAD CONDITION. WHEN A POP UP COMES UP, SELECT SIT BACK AND ACCEPT FATE.
Para-nightmare: live in a haunted house. When encountering a ghost/paranormal event, scream. Edit: make sure your health is very low. You can do this by going on unhealthy diets such as Hot Cheetos or High Calorie. You can also drink alcohol. Avoid drugs so that you don't accidentally overdose.
Player perks: [will update]
Resourceful: marry a rich person that's 80+ & wait until they die OR have a low net worth & divorce them.
Rich justice: be wealthy by following the steps above in the wealth section. Sue a plastic surgeon who botched your surgery or an ex-spouse (both tend to have a decent amount of money). Sue for $1 mil and pick the most expensive law firm to represent you.
Roswell:live in New Mexico to have an alien encounter.Edit: be wealthy by following the steps in the wealth section. Buy an airplane or jet. Fly every year OR if a prompt does not show up, close the app and restart the game until an alien encounter pops up when flying. Credit goes tou/mateon692for thispostandu/katpotatoeesfor thiscomment.
Run Bitizen: go to a horse race & bet on Bitizen the horse & hope it wins.
For burglary achievements: have high smarts to increase your chances of stealing successfully.
For murder achievements: if a pop up comes up saying you've been arrested/taken to court, close out of the game & restart, then try killing again.
Adopt don't shop: follow the steps in the wealth achievements section & buy a large property (equestrian/ranch/farm). Then adopt all the pets at the shelter. There is not a limit to how many pets you can adopt if you have a large property.
Note: you will not be able to adopt if you have a criminal record.
Horsing around: buy an equestrian property so you can buy horses. Buy 50 horses in 1 life.
Just keep swimming: get a gold fish from the pet store & release it.
Natural selection: buy an exotic animal such as big cats, wolves, coyotes, or gorillas with high craziness. Lower SO's health. Note: DO NOT buy monkeys, wild cats that are not big cats, snakes, or birds.
No Probllama: buy a llama by having an equestrian property & going to the exotic pet dealer. Edit: YOU MUST LIVE IN A SOUTH AMERICAN COUNTRY (e.g. Argentina, Chile, Peru, etc.)
A concept on how to give our useless vendors a purpose and our community fresh content available to everyone
this is a concept that I came up with that I wanted to put out there and see what the community thought also TLDR at bottom So this is two big ideas that would be introduced in a free ttk April update style sandbox update/drop. It would just have these two major things: in game leaderboards and srl. It would be free and stay in game not seasonal! It also would not be a whole season of content. I wouldn’t want it to be a part of the story content for the season it comes with because its not what it’s purpose is. The seasonal content is for season pass owners and this update is for everyone. Why not kill a flock of birds with one meteor right?? Part one: ikora and her big board I had an idea for ikora that would give her purpose indefinitely and give the community something to work for and alleviate some of the monotonous tones of grinding. I was thinking (since the community has been asking for it since taken king) introducing in game leaderboards and putting her in charge of them. Maybe a part of a free qol and sandbox update. These are just some main concept points I kinda brainstormed: •Give strike scoring in the heroic strike playlist •Small intro quest to strike scoring leaderboards where she talks you through it all. •maybe storyline is along the lines of “Zavala and I want to put you guardians to the test and to make sure you’re rewarded and want to do it we have leaderboards that track your successes against these resurgent enemies.” •Add a weekly rotating activities like a master level raid for those who want a challenge and a rotating raid that gives pinnacles so that it takes away from the repetitive gos farming for pinnacles. Basically an ordeal raid. •This master raid will drop high level resources like upgrade modules, prisms, and shards? •weekly raids also give lots of resources, upgrade materials, and xp so it isn’t all about bounties. •Maybe adds new crucible maps, strikes, gambit maps, or even update some raids? •ALSO NO CHAMPIONS IN WEEKLY RAIDS GOD NO •Add some contests on leaderboards like “highest master nightfall score gets a large amount of bright dust, ascendant shards, ornaments, etc etc.” something like that. Similar to how fortnite (I know I know fortnite bad but hear me out) has a competition system that has different pop up competitions/events. •give ikora bounties that are more difficult and reward 200 bd each •Add a section in your inventory to display your rankings on each leaderboard or even also add an emblem for each section to show off your ranking among other guardians. •Add a mechanic where if you break a certain score threshold in ordeal nightfalls you get more rewards or guarantee a nightfall exclusive? •(also add crucible comp leaderboards to shaxx duhhh) Part two: fastest horse at the glue factory Bringing back srl with some qol sparrow updates and such would be a breath of fresh air. It would give us a break from the only new modes being mini menagerie horde mode part 2349. It would allow us to have faction rallies back and gives us new vendors since there are no new vendor refreshes. Also I would like to see factions in general available all the time and have it how it was with Rise of Iron and it’s pledge system. When the rallies and srl roll around the factions would have faction themed sparrows srl armor and the items you would get if you won. The update would also have these changes/additions with its release: •bring back sparrow racing league and have it rotate like the faction rally’s and you can pledge to the factions and race for them. You can rank up through the faction and earn special srl armor or sparrows. Ikora can also have leaderboards for this and track times. This way it is more fun and engaging than how it used to be aka lost sector simulator. •Update sparrows to be more consistent with speeds cough cough 150s.... •Give sparrows more health when inside the srl courses. I would like to see sparrow healths increased across the board but I get that if they were too tanky people would just drive pst everything. •Lower the damage of the sparrow explosion omg. •Add earn-able srl sparrows from holiday and the factions with unique perks that cant be found anywhere else so they’re actually worth getting and not just some sparrow no one will use (just like ghosts without guiding light). Maybe the perks will be universal in where they’re effective or they might be only active or useful in srl. If these perks are good and benefit the over all quality of the sparrow and people want to use these perks, I don’t want to lock these perks behind srl if someone doesn’t or can’t at all (either because they don’t like it or they just refuse) play srl. •Just overall engine tuning of sparrows to make them easier to control and not as clunky. Also possibly update the in air tricks (the in air rolling spinny thingy you know the one) to make it faster and more responsive instead of slow. The speed of it is so slow that I can’t roll with it in air anymore because I have to be very high off the ground just to land one flip or spin. •Update the sparrow perk sets to give us insta summon on all srl sparrows or all legendary rarity and above sparrows.... please. •Maybe add just two to three new maps? One in the dark forest or whatever next to the traveler shard or around it oOooO, one in tangled shore (like there’s already a whole sparrow thing going between one of the main areas on the right side, this one would be so cool), and one on maybe the leviathan? Calus let’s us race on his own course to give us a test?? •Completely bring back all the maps from srl in D1 I loved them and would save a lot of time. •increase the boost meter to allow more lateral dashes or boosts. •NO SRL STUFF IN EVERVERSE ITS ALL EARNED IN GAME! MAYBE ORNAMENTS BUT THATS IT. Now these next few are just ideas that I thought would be fun to include they’re not that serious: •changing maps. I.e. after a certain amount of time something happens and the course changes? Also i was thinking on the leviathan course you can either have one long course kinda like the “big blue” Mario kart track or you can trigger changes by collection something to mess up your opponents behind you or just change the course direction in front of you. •super power ups? Maybe like a tiny finisher style power up? You pick it up after it spawns and you get a random power up or a power up based on class or subclass (which idk about that one). The super ones for classes would probably be best earned like a super and you get one or (highly unlikely) two a match. You can get these out of the power ups: —tether power up which you drop a hunter tether behind you (basically a banana) and if someone hits it they get slowed down or lose a few of their speed bonus stacks from hitting the flag. —warlock dawnblade projectile that burns, slows, and attracts all enemy attention whoever gets hit by it. (This one is kinda hard to think of honestly) —saint 14 style slam that if you do a lateral boost it goes a lot farther and pushes opponents (which I think might be too much if it did that but it’s for fun who cares about balancing 🥳) —a nova bomb that blinds? —general speed boost item —a seeking explosive engram (the ones from the baron) that has rare, legendary, and exotic rarities. Rare is equivalent to green shell, legendary is red shell, and I don’t think I need to explain the exotic shell lol. These would just make you spin out or damage your sparrow a lot and make you lose all speed bonuses from flags. —an arc soul that (lasts 30 seconds?) shoots enemies for you and has increased projectile speed and tracking. (Better than sentient arc soul) I can see it now. A two part update. Part one: Zavala’s ordeal and Ikoras resolve. Part two: The go even faster update. Maybe they’re staggered by a week depending on if bungie wants to delay srl to fine tune it more or something idk. These are all just ideas that I brainstormed and thought could make destiny less about efficient grinding and more fun grinding. A lot have been asking for leaderboards and stuff since forever so I thought it would be a good fit for ikora. Plus I miss srl and holidays srl commentary. Such a fun mode that could incorporate a lot of the useless vendors. It would also be fun to see your factions betting on you or you representing the factions. It seems leaderboards would be one of the easier updates to implement considering we already have so many companion websites that are already tracking this stuff and the team could receive some help through them or request access to the stats?? I don’t know much about developing a triple a game and all that but from my perspective it seems a lot easier if it’s already being done. I am just posting this concept because I feel like it would be something the community would like and actually get behind as a change. I didn’t take into account server side stuff and developmental stuff so I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. I just hope someone else is seeing the potential I’m seeing in this. TLDR: the main points •the goal: give players more engaging content to look forward to and give us fresh air in between horde modes •the content: Introduce a weekly raid and a weekly master raid to alleviate some monotony for raid pinnacles. •Introduce in game leaderboards with different timed contests and add strike scoring back with mechanics to increase rewards based on score. •Bring back srl with sparrow updates and unique rewards to make it actually feel rewarding. I also had some ideas about power ups but they’re just for fun. •bring back factions so that you can pledge and still access them and rank up all the time not just during rallies. The rallies would have themed sparrows, srl armor, and the item you get if your faction won. instead of lost sector simulator to rank up quickly and win the rally it would be srl.
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5 ways to identify vulnerable favorites in horse racing
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